How the Cookie Crumbles

Life and scribbles on the far side of SIXTY-FIVE

Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?


I LOVE the new features on appliances nowadays, especially my washer, dryer and dishwasher. Where was my head last night? Am I really starting to act like a  OLD broad? I didn’t say I was one. Not yet.

At 8:00 pm, I was just going to start my dishwasher but remembered to set a two-hour delay start because utility costs are cheaper off-peak from 10:00 pm until 7:00 am (my mistake). About two minutes to magic time, I couldn’t figure out why the darn thing hadn’t started. I opened the door. Everything was still dry—and DIRTY. The cycle hadn’t begun. Hmm. I closed it again. Looked at all the buttons and pushed Start again. Nothing. Horrors. An oh-oh moment. What if it’s broken? What already? It’s only been in use half a dozen months since installation. I started to pace. What could be the matter? I mean, really the matter? Dollar signs kept flashing in my head. Panic was setting in. I decided to leave well enough alone. Time for a cool-down. Maybe a glass of wine.

Who is working for whom?

The clock struck ten. A soft mechanical humming made me pause. And turn. I looked at the darn dishwasher in amazement. What just happened here? Then I had an epiphany. Oh damn. I had it set to start at 10:00 pm. and it knew what to do. What had I expected? That the computerized component should read my mind OR just start at the time set? Senior moments. Ugh! I HATE them. I wouldn’t want to compete with a 5th grader. Been there. Done that. Anyway, I hate studying.

To add insult to injury, this whole scenario could have been avoided had I been paying attention to ‘time of use’ energy conservation new hours. We have on-peak, mid-peak and off-peak time choices. Without my noticing, off-peak had been changed from 7:00 pm to 7:00 am. Duh.

My next thrill-seeking venture will be the new elliptical machine I bought recently. I’ve been waiting for a five-year-old to come along—but I don’t know any—to put the darn thing together for me because you KNOW only THEY can understand the instructions.


Author: Let's CUT the Crap!

I'm getting a little LONG in the tooth and have things to say about---ouch---AGEing. I believe it's certainly a state of mind but sometimes it's nice to hear that you're NORMAL. I enjoy reading by the truckload. I'm a grandma but I don't feel OLD although I'm not so young anymore. My plan is to stick it out as long as I can on this lovely planet and only will leave it kicking and screaming!

23 thoughts on “Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?

  1. I find I have the same problems with flat pack furniture!


  2. We let the little girls (four between the ages of 3 and 8) put together the vacuum. The cooler thing? They even tested it. Each one took a room to be sure.

    Foot on the hours. They change them every month to make more money. I set mine for midnight. No chance that is peak time.



  3. I have similar problems with the time/bake option on the stove. I usually forget a step–and they are all crucial to operation–and end up with something wrong, uncooked, overcooked, still cooking…


  4. I suppose I am lucky, there are only two of us and I only run the silly thing once a week. By the time it is full I am out of dishes, no time to waste; run now, right now, immediately, when I push the button!

    Most of the time we eat off paper plates and use pretty plastic utensils (I hate doing dishes).

    Laundry? Oh, that. I keep hoping it will do itself. Thankfully my other half grows tired of my staring at the pile and eventually will do it (I think it is when he runs out of skivvies).

    Oh no…I have just admitted to being lazier than a 5th grader. The shame…hangs head and slinks away.


    • ~STANDING OVATION~ for being ingenious enough to wait out hubs.


    • Aren’t YOU funny! Who was the wiseguy who said (how long ago) that the modern age would be about pushing a button and we would have all this time for recreation because of it? It takes TIME to LEARN how to manage all these new buttons. There are way too many of them. Thanks for taking the time to comment. Love your post.


  5. Very funny. Unfortunately, I can relate. Don’t even get me started on that channel changer. How do those things work?


  6. I spent like an hour trying to get two pieces of metal to go together for our swing set, only to realize they needed to be flipped around. By that time I had just about beat the thing to death with a large hammer. Oh well.


  7. I’m impressed you knew how to set the thing for a more efficient time!

    I have nominated you for one of three awards. Please do come by and see what you’ve won. It’s like a box of cracker jacks, with a fake award at the bottom! Congrats, blog friend!


    • I’m tickled you’ve put me on the list. I’ve a few more that I MUST find the time to update on my blog. It takes a bit of work to to co-ordinate and I’ve been avoiding doing. Lately my life has been a hampster wheel. I do appreciate your thoughtfulness.

      Love reading your blog.


  8. Very cute, very funny! 🙂


  9. Love it!! I’m a 41 year mom with a 1st grader. Can I have senior moments now? I think I can. 1st grade math has be stumped sometimes!


    • Do they call that stuff math? My granddaughter is in grade 2 and I shudder at the stuff they’re taking other than numbers: charts, legends, tables…Come to think of it when my daughter was in grade 1, I believe that’s when my senior moments started and I was 38! Hang in there mom. Things can only get MORE interesting. You might have to get a tutor. For YOU. (I giggle daintily) Have a NICE day!


Some things in life are complicated. Let's keep it simple.

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