How the Cookie Crumbles

Life and scribbles on the far side of SIXTY-FIVE

Lost My Place

28 Comments


Damn it’s cold. It’s Friday afternoon and I’ve errands to run. The weather is nasty and it’s starting to snow. I run into Walmart because it’s the closest store with one stop shopping in my neighbourhood. Saves gas, time and energy. I grab a buggy (a big mistake).

In the card department, I pick out a birthday card with infinite care. This is time consuming. Then I rush over to the cosmetics department for some moisture cream and face wash: both Nivea for Mature Skin. I’ll need some soon anyway so I might as well get it now. There’s the book aisle. I’ve read a borrowed copy of Stephen King’s latest novel: 11-22-63, but I want a copy of my own.  I’ll check out what kind of discount is being offered. Forget it; I’ll wait to buy a copy later.

Might as well wander over to the produce department while I’m here. Will there be any blueberries today, I wonder? Oh Great! Three pints for five dollars! Many other times when I’ve come looking for some, there was no hint of any. Then I remember that I‘ll be out of yogurt and milk soon. Look at that. Butter’s on sale today. Good idea to store extra in the freezer at this price. My buggy is starting to look pretty loaded. Better get out of here before I get carried away. I only came in for the birthday card after all so why did I grab a buggy?

While rushing back towards the cash registers, I notice a special on a two-pack of whole chickens for just $12.00. I’d be nuts to pass that up. In the refrigerator unit just around the corner from produce, I notice small plastic containers of baby spinach for only $2.00 each. Must get some for a change up in salad variation. The container says it’s prewashed too. Why don’t  I back track to the cereal aisle? Maybe cereal  of my sort is on sale? I’m only interested in Fibre 1 or Fibre First. Nothing. Can’t get lucky all the time, I suppose. Still, it doesn’t cost to take a gander.

The lineups are horrendous. When aren’t they, though? The shortest line I can find has people doing comparison shopping. They’ve produced other stores’ ads, which Walmart promises to match. I’m ready to dump the buggy and fly out of here. Wait, the lineup by the whatchamacallit is moving along pretty well. Few customers have overloaded buggies there and the mechanical female voice announces, “Proceed to Aisle (such and such) please,” at regular intervals. So I march into line. Fifty-five dollars later, I’m ready to escape but there’s MacDonald’s right in front of me. Heck, doesn’t that sound like a fabulous idea? A nice hot coffee to warm me in the cold? What, no lineup either? Don’t need to think twice.

* * *

WHERE IS MY CAR? Somebody stole it. It’s only a little Nissan, Cherry Bomb Red to be sure, but why would someone do that to me? How could they manage to steal it in broad daylight without my key? Oh dear. Where are my keys? Here they are. Safe! Sweat breaks out on my forehead.

I wonder around, then stop and slowly rotate. Maybe I’m mistaken. Could happen. Not often but sometimes in parking lots. Especially when I park in a different area / aisle I don’t usually frequent.

Oh, there it is! I’m sure that’s not where I parked it before I went into the store. Consternation.

Advertisements

Author: Let's CUT the Crap!

I'm getting a little LONG in the tooth and have things to say about---ouch---AGEing. I believe it's certainly a state of mind but sometimes it's nice to hear that you're NORMAL. I enjoy reading by the truckload. I'm a grandma but I don't feel OLD although I'm not so young anymore. My plan is to stick it out as long as I can on this lovely planet and only will leave it kicking and screaming!

28 thoughts on “Lost My Place

  1. Sounds like a productive day.

    Like

  2. Been there. Done that. Almost called the police once.

    Like

    • At Christmastime I was ready to do the same thing. Is that funny or what? Glad to know I’m not the only one. I swear I’ve checked the row number and location in relation to the front door of (any) store and still can’t find my way back. Thanks for sharing. Have a nice day “Mother”.

      Like

  3. Hi! Just wanted to let you know that I have nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award. Check out my post today for details. 🙂

    Like

  4. LOL! You are too funny. I can’t even tell you how many times I have parked, paid no attention to where I was, then wandered from my vehicle for hours, only to return to the lot/structure and have no stinkin’ clue where I left it. Sometimes . . . I even resort to pressing the panic button on my car alarm. That’s what it;s there for right? 🙂

    Blessings,
    Cara

    Like

    • Isn’t this rich? I don’t have a car alarm nor one of those automatic car door openers on my car key. That would work but being in the Walmart parking lot with 30 other zombies doing the same thing could turn into a good story for Stephen King. Lucky you at least have a “panuc” button.

      Thanks for coming by and taking the time to comment.

      Like

  5. Did we pass each other in the Walmart mecca yesterday? I was the one with the super squeaky wheeled cart in NE Ohio! I dropped 50 bucks on coffee creamer and dog food and other things I can’t quite remember. 🙂

    Like

  6. Wal-Mart is the sucker of pay checks. I was sentenced to several for a little over 11 years. Glad I retired.
    Red.

    Like

    • Walmart sure is that because it caters to EVERYbody. I shop there just because it’s so handy but try to only buy what I NEED and mostly I’m good. It’s a good thing they don’t sell wine too. If you’re happy you retired from there, so am I! Oh happy day. Have yourself a good one. Tess

      Like

      • You would be in so much trouble here. They sell wine here. The ones at home sell liquor, too. And it is a huge section right next to the milk. o.O

        I am just glad to be retired. (Do note the punctuation.) Gives me time to do the things I want to do. 😉

        Red.

        Like

      • Yup, I sure would be. Talk about the ULTIMATE one stop shopping. Right next to the milk, you say? Does that work something like canned goods in the canned aisle? I’ve been retired for five years and am just STARTING to get into the things I want to do. Have a good one. 🙂

        Like

      • LOL! Quite so. Last time I poured one, I am certain cognac is the next best thing to mother’s milk 😉
        Red.

        Like

  7. One day I thought we could save time by sending my husband to the car with our Walmart stuff while I ran into the adjoining supermarket for one more thing. I get out of the supermarket and go back to the car and wait and wait. Finally my husband shows up. He was wandering around the parking lot the whole time looking for the car. Turns out that I had driven that day, and he had paid NO attention to where I had parked.

    Like

    • There’s a whole ‘nother’ culture to Walmart and their gargantuan parking lots, isn’t there? Goes to show we’re all human and sometimes funny. Could it be he usually parks in a specific area, when he drives, that he hadn’t paid attention?

      Like

  8. I really didn’t know which category this belonged in ,bit here in Australia we all have to have TIMELINE.Its horrible they had me married last year ,Ihave been in wedded bliss for 39 years.They write that friends i have known forever I have only just met.I defy any one to try and change the total crap they post about you ,and EVERY conversation is copied and you can’t change that either.It’s almost like Big Brother from the 1984 novel.If it comes to you don’t go for it.It almost makes me sound paranoid in hindsight,but the old way was much better.Thank you for letting me rant.

    Like

  9. I can’t begin to tell you how much I hate one stop shopping! Haven’t been in a WalMart in more than a decade, for that and many other reasons. Of course I am certain they are part of the Evil Empire.

    Like

    • I do one-stop out because of the time thief. But I must also confess, I don’t really LIKE shopping so I blow in and then I scream out with whatever necessities I came for EXCEPT that I see all kinds of other goodies… Thanks for writing, Valentine.

      Like

  10. Very funny and so true. I was right there with you, including losing the car. Thanks for brightening my day.

    Like

  11. Oh my! I must come back here often to get my laughs! You are a riot! I laughed out loud several times! I can relate to what you are saying!!

    Why do I grab a cart when I came for one thing? 😉 Then I stand in confusion after checking out, thinking: what did I just do? Why did I spend $70 when I came for milk? Great post! I’m coming back for more! (I saw you on Deidre’s blog and thought…here’s someone I need to visit!)

    Like

  12. Too funny–I have the exact same experiences in parking lots here! I think my car is a very smart car…smarter than the average car…and it moves itself around when I’m out of sight.

    But alas, my local Walmarts aren’t one-stop shopping meccas yet…in Ontario and Alberta they are but not in backwoods Atlantic Canada…so I have to trudge through the grocery store, fill my cloth, washable bags (that I’ve never washed) with produce and meats (double-wrapped in plastic bags first), and baked goods before I can head home. The only cards the grocery stores carry cost $1.00 and aren’t always what I’m looking for (for example, my 85 year old father wouldn’t appreciate a card with a teddy bear enjoying a picnic with a giraffe and a few birds)…

    Maybe I’m lucky though, after all, not to have a Super Walmart here…sounds to me as if it would be like visiting my local Costco! And that is a very expensive trip…

    Like

    • So NICE to hear from you, Sylvia. Life is getting way too complicated. Sometimes I can’t even find the book I’m reading. How does that happen. I wish I could snap on a thingie and just do the lamp-on lamp-off clap so it would beep back at me. Of course, my book and / or glasses are much smaller than my car. But still. I’m not what you’d call a diehard Walmart fan but it beats driving all over God’s little acre getting stuff done. Have you seen how the price of gas is galloping upwards just in the past two weeks? Thanks for your input. Love hearing from you.

      Like

  13. Yes–my son and I were discussing the cost of gasoline tonight…it’s going up outrageously here in Atlantic Canada…I heard today that this summer it will be $1.50 or more per litre…not sure what that is in gallons..but I imagine it’s a lot.
    Good thing lots of us like to spend our time online!

    Like

    • Beats changing from slippers and pajamas just to drive a car that’s too expensive to use. We’ve heard the same in Ontario: $1.50 per litre this summer (also use litre instead of gallons for years but I can’t convert either). I’m starting to spend a lot more time on the internet too. Meeting lovely people.

      Like

Some things in life are complicated. Let's keep it simple.

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s