I’ve lived alone too long. No. I’m not whining about being lonely, depressed or bored. Are you kidding? I like love my freedom: I get up when I want, I do what I want, and generally, get away with what I want.
I read the paper every morning with my coffee after I’ve had all the zz’s I need, or I did until recently.
My new cat starts my day by flexing her nails, jamming them into my mattress and stroking my bed skirt. RRrr-i-p, R-iii-pp. She pretends she’s scared but comes peeking around the dresser after two flicks of her tail to check how much progress the lump on the bed has made. I swear I hear her heaving with silent laughter. Her goal is breakfast—NOW—at 6:10 a.m.
I’m a normal retired lady, old enough to make my own decisions, dammit, and nobody’s going to make me change. I’m not getting up before 7:00 a.m. I steal two extra minutes of quiet before the tramp in Lady Gaga charges again. This time she uses her claws to climb my sofa. For whatever reason, hanging off the floor using only her front claws before pushing herself up with her hind legs, nails flexed for better impetus, makes Lady G. much too happy.
She reads me like I’m made of glass.
“Stop it! I’m coming already.”
I don’t often watch television, but occasionally I throw caution to the wind, pour a glass of wine and hope to watch a decent movie to r-e-l-a-x, to give my fingers and brain a rest, (but not my lap). Nope, Lady Gaga has made it clear, my lap belongs to her. I don’t get to do what I want much anymore.
Most days / evenings find me clicking away on my keyboard or surfing the net, reading, or commenting in the blogosphere among other favourite projects. The sleek and trim Lady G. is tired of sleeping and must jump on my lap to wash the sleep out of her marble-size eyes. On second thought, she gives herself an attention-seeking bath like she’s the centre of the universe. Why she must lean on my forearm to take another nap afterwards is beyond me.
I’m such a soft touch, I let her snooze for five minutes or so, (plus, plus) while petting her gently on the top of the head the way she prefers. Sometimes, I get to practice one-finger typing with my left hand while I wait. It’s tedious as hell and slow to boot, but I don’t mind. I’m a woman of a certain age, old enough to make my own decisions dammit, and nobody’s going tomake me change.
I think I’ll take her for a manicure (but not a pedicure); I don’t want her to get the idea I’m a big spender—not big enough to afford a new sofa anytime soon.
August 14, 2012 at 9:49 pm
As the servant of my three cats – no my time is not mine. My cats all came to me declawed in the front. So scratching isn’t a problem.
However, my friends who have cats that have front claws have been happy with softclaws. ( http://www.softclaws.com/index.php?pet=cat ) A vet puts them for one of my friends but another does them herself. They do save a fortune in furniture.
August 15, 2012 at 7:32 pm
Wow. Life and learn! I’ve never heard of these. What a fabulous idea but I’m getting a manicure for Lady G. next week. All my cats have had them. They still like to ‘pretend’ to scratch things after they’re done and for years. Thank you for the info. I wonder if cats try to chew soft claws off. . .
August 14, 2012 at 10:59 pm
So this is why you knew that I didn’t know what I was up against. You are well versed in the way of cats. I am but a novice/cat-sitter.
August 14, 2012 at 11:12 pm
I had this experience a hundred years ago and I laughed when I wrote you, but figured I was way too dramatic, but, I’m not surprised your M-I-L’s cat is “territorial “She wanted HER bed–not news–(did someone say it’s just about dogs? na na, nananana-na ….)
Sorry to hear you lost sleep though.
August 14, 2012 at 11:19 pm
I also had this same experience in the past two weeks.I’ve never had it this bad. Our first four cats were not renegades…or tramps…or gypsies…or trying to make a name for themselves…
August 14, 2012 at 11:03 pm
I long for retirement….
August 15, 2012 at 7:28 pm
Believe me LJBA, you don’t get a lot of time to rest when you retire unless you choose a rocking chair.
August 15, 2012 at 1:56 am
Have you seen Simon’s Cat? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0ffwDYo00Q
August 15, 2012 at 7:25 pm
OMG. This looks like MY house! Thanks, Vanessa. I’m having a giggle-fest.
August 15, 2012 at 3:08 am
Lady G knows exactly how to be spoiled!!
August 15, 2012 at 7:21 pm
For a little hobo, she’s got my number alright.
August 15, 2012 at 6:10 am
LOL Lady Gaga has you well and truly attuned to her needs, wants and desires 🙂
August 15, 2012 at 7:20 pm
And here I adopted her out of the kindness of my little heart and she takes ADVANTAGE. For shame. Ha ha.
August 15, 2012 at 8:05 am
Oh, so sweet! She has taken over – at least your heart! 🙂
August 15, 2012 at 7:20 pm
And my furniture and my bed and the dining-room chairs and my lap. Tee hee.
August 15, 2012 at 8:43 am
Oh, Tess…you’ve joined the ranks of the pet-dominated households. I know whereof I speak…I’ve been ‘held hostage’ by my pooch and many birds for years. But such a wonderful, rewarding imprisonment.
August 15, 2012 at 7:19 pm
Hi Laurie. I’ve had budgies, and cats. My daughter is the dog person but at her house (and a cat). I’m partial to cats. Just seems for a lost and found hobo, Lady G. sure made herself comfortable lickety-split. I’m not looking forward to her manicure though.
August 15, 2012 at 1:15 pm
We G’s can be incredibly manipulative!
August 15, 2012 at 7:16 pm
You’ve got that right!
August 15, 2012 at 4:26 pm
Tabitha just woke me up at 5.50, same aim, breakfast… Thats all I am too her, that thing that gives her food I think 🙂
August 15, 2012 at 7:15 pm
Spoiled little tyrants…gotta laugh too though.
August 15, 2012 at 9:26 pm
My cat slams his head into mine when he feels it’s time to get up. But only after he spends 10 minutes breathing directly into my ear, sounding very much like Darth Vader.
August 15, 2012 at 9:33 pm
Cats think they’re so SMART. Why don’t they know we are ONTO them? Right.
August 15, 2012 at 10:36 pm
Our overzealous three year old was the only force our cat has ever learned to reckon with – everyone and everything else was worthy of only a yawn. Both of them have had their share of swipes and scratches… Meow! Nice post 😀
August 15, 2012 at 10:58 pm
I have had cats for years, love them to death. They are spoiled and demanding. They are also declawed in front, I don’t think they or I would survive otherwise.
August 16, 2012 at 9:15 pm
I can’t wait until the 27th when we go for a manicure…my furniture cringes lest Lady G. hurt it again.
August 16, 2012 at 4:46 am
Puddytats rule! But they’re ever so sympathetic when you’re having a cry, I find.
August 16, 2012 at 9:14 pm
August 16, 2012 at 8:48 am
Those of us who are owned by cats can relate… 😀
August 16, 2012 at 10:05 am
They are so worth it too.
August 16, 2012 at 8:51 am
I have nominated you for a Versatile Blogger Award. Go to http://walking-on-eggshells.com/2012/08/16/an-award-yay/ to collect you award and then nominate 15 others and share 7 things about yourself.
August 18, 2012 at 1:21 am
Hahaha….I love it. You tell a story like no one else! What is it they say about dog owners and cat owners? The cat’s the Master or Mistress of the house!
I’m so glad her nails aren’t going into YOU! Does she like catnip? Oh, but that would make her scratch more, I guess! I’ve always been a dog owner, due to allergies. But my son and DIL raise foster kittens for the humane society and I have fallen deeply in love with those little babies! No need for TV!! 😉 Great post, Tess!
August 19, 2012 at 7:08 pm
Thanks, Jay. Nice of you to drop in. You are too kind. Sometimes I DO have to protect myself from her eager nails. One week tomorrow and she’ll have her manicure– no more need to worry. I’ve noticed my furniture cringes when she thinks, “Ah, a good place for a scratch”. My daughter brought my Lady G a large jar of catnip the day I brought her home, but it does nothing for her so far.
August 18, 2012 at 7:31 pm
This makes me glad I’m a dog person. 🙂
August 19, 2012 at 7:01 pm
Maybe my Lady G sounds worse than she really is—exaggerated story-telling? Truth be told, I AM looking forward to her manicure a week tomorrow.
August 19, 2012 at 7:25 pm
August 18, 2012 at 8:29 pm
Lol. I should introduce you and Gaga to my Aunt and her new cat Moses. He has turned her life upside down. She gripes, but gives in. I can’t imagine a time when I would do that, but you never know. My husband on the other hand. . . You and LG enjoy 🙂 Angie
August 19, 2012 at 6:59 pm
Thank you Angie. I sound much more dragging myself to the firing squad than is true. A decided shift in my ‘free’ time is obvious to me but I’m enjoying the company.
August 19, 2012 at 2:16 am
Hi Tess, I used to have a cat that would bite me in the armpit to wake me up when she thought it was time for breakfast–around 6AM! Still, I loved that kitty. Good luck with your little lady.
August 19, 2012 at 6:58 pm
Ouch! My Lady G seems to like ‘kissing’ my T-shirt armpits and then going to sleep. I don’t understand why this habit. Maybe she wasn’t weaned properly. Anyway, she’s settling in as am I. Thanks for sharing. I love hearing varied memories, suggestions and ideas.
August 21, 2012 at 3:09 pm
You. Rock. Like. Gaga!
what a great name for your kitty Kat! ❤
August 21, 2012 at 3:23 pm
She different, to me anyway and viola, the name popped into my head and wham, it suits her. Thank you for your exuberant comment.