How the Cookie Crumbles

Life and scribbles on the far side of SIXTY-FIVE

Ego Takes a Holiday

55 Comments


Recently, I was involved in a situation, from which I’ve had to walk away. This is a brief overview.

I rarely have an inflated ego or fat head. My problem is I’m cautious, sometimes to the extreme. This does not mean I have no self-confidence; I have plenty, I promise.

The Carrot

A Mr. New York approached me recently with enough interesting buzz to snap me to attention. The link to my blog had been found, he said, on an extremely successful and popular site. I recognized it at once. He came across my work and liked it. Would I be interested in writing for his e-Zine? Half a dozen-mail exchanges later, he suggested an in-depth interview and discussion via Skype or by telephone.

I checked out the month-old e-Zine. It was slick, sharp, snappy. The magazine featured articles about movies, music, television, food, fashion, Hollywood etc.—geared more to twenty and thirty-somethings than to ladies with service stripes (like my gray ones).

I contacted the blog owner where my link had been found to ask whether she did indeed recognize Mr. N. Y.  I had been led to believe she and Mr. N.Y had had in-depth discussions, specifically about how she had achieved such success and was generating revenue. She had no idea who he was. This bothered me. Why was her name being brandished like a sword?

I’m certain any number of bloggers had also been contacted as I have. My initial question after the first e-mail was why me? Why not me? Still, I was not celebrating. Why? Something didn’t feel right.

The Interview

Skype audio only was used. He talked for a half-hour explaining the zine was in its infancy. Only exposure for articles contributed was on offer until they became a revenue generating entity, hopefully in six to eight months.

My fellow blogger’s site was brought up again but her name was used incorrectly. Once more I was bothered.

After the interview, I started to dig. I found Mr. N. Y. is in the entertainment, radio and movie business. Still I didn’t get weak in the knees. We are all people, right? Some of us are more clever, talented, luckier or more successful than others.  I come from the corporate world. This wasn’t such a big deal—yet.

Results

  • Mr. New York is on three blacklists in the entertainment and music business
  • It is also mentioned he’s ‘a career killer’
  • He has his fingers in a lot of pies
  • His personal blog gave me pause. At first glance everything looked fine but then I found subjects and terminology with pictures I do not wish to be associated with.

From his blog

‘… risqué, macabre … outside the boundaries … “normal society”‘

 Am I a prude? What IS a prude anyway? Do I need or wish to be connected in any way to this tangle?

No.

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Author: Let's CUT the Crap!

I'm getting a little LONG in the tooth and have things to say about---ouch---AGEing. I believe it's certainly a state of mind but sometimes it's nice to hear that you're NORMAL. I enjoy reading by the truckload. I'm a grandma but I don't feel OLD although I'm not so young anymore. My plan is to stick it out as long as I can on this lovely planet and only will leave it kicking and screaming!

55 thoughts on “Ego Takes a Holiday

  1. Good you checked. Glad you were cautious. Sounds like it played off. But, you’re writing is worthy of a great e-zine. So there!

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  2. I think you did exactly the right thing about this…sounds not-quite-right to me. Go with your gut feelings and you’ll probably never (well, hardly ever), go wrong!
    Let us know if there is any follow-up news to post.

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  3. You are one clever lady!!!

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  4. You go girl ! Awesome job Tess. You are a woman after my own heart. I

    I think you should make public is blog so we can all write him

    Seriously perfect. He had no clue who he was messing with. ~ BB

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    • I’d love to but I don’t suppose I can unless I hear of something concrete someone comes back with after reading this. Thanks BB.

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      • As long as what you are writing is trie there is no retaliation. Someone would be cut off immediately because as things stand we are free to say what ever we want online. It all falls under Free Speech here in the good ole USA.

        Slander etc.. he’ could not prove anyway.. you’re just telling the truth.

        I’m sorry, this pulls out th rebel in me. It’s no different than PCH scams. Go after who they think is most vulnerable. Ha! Fooled Him Tess!!

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  5. That “gut feeling” we all have is often right, isn´t it?

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  6. Well he met his match this time!!!

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  7. So interesting, Tess. Your instincts were probably correct, but still, it’s flattering to be asked!

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  8. Glad you had the sense to do a thorough check and stay away. There are zillions of chancers and scammers on the net. You can’t be too careful

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  9. Great heads up for a blogger newbie. Cheers

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  10. When the hairs on the back of your neck tand up, there’s a reason. Listen to them.

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  11. YIKES! I’m glad you figured this guy out. Thanks for giving the rest of us a heads up 🙂 Angie

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  12. Due Diligence something everyone should practice not just those of us who earned our stripes in the corporate world. IF something doesn’t feel right always trust your gut, doesn’t hurt to ask more questions until you have a good answer. Now I’m intrigued as to what he thought his end game was going to be… that’s the mystery/thriller writer in me.

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    • When does due diligence STOP? Thanks for stopping by Mary Louise.

      I can’t figure out what the endgame is either. Since your’re the sleuth, maybe we can figure it out. Alright, calling all bloggers. Can we put our heads together on this one?

      Have you ever heard of a blog WITHIN a blog? This is another hype word used. Thinking caps anyone?

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      • Oh usually when you are comfortable the person is who they say they are or you are comfortable that you’ve proven they aren’t who they say there – then it ends.

        Yeah just what he hoped to get puzzles me…

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      • Validation? I’m no spring chicken and he knows it. A legitimate business? Starting over? I wholeheartedly admit the eZine is slick and HOT and young. I AM impressed. I also don’t understand the blog within a blog, i.e: another look at what’s in the magazine but with a more PERSONAL view. Would you react the same way if you uncovered what I had?

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      • Sure I would. I get approached with wacky stuff from time to time being a writer. I tend to err on the side of caution. Also surprisingly the writer’s community talks, and is well connected with one another. So if I’m not sure I’ll ask friends with years more experience than me – I’m I being silly or does this sound off to you? So far I’ve been on the mark. I think years of being a compliance auditor finely honed my BS detector.

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  13. Wow. Glad you followed your instincts and didn’t get involved with this person. It’s a good reminder to us all..

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  14. Good for you! There are weird peeps out there. Thanks for reminding us to be careful while in cyberspace.

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  15. Even the blogosphere is not immune to shady solicitors – glad you and your blog are safe!

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  16. Instincts are precious. You had instincts, & you didn’t ignore them. I think we should ALWAYS use our instincts, although I myself have ignored them. The thing is, I regret it – and you would have too. Well done. I don’t know how you discovered he was on blacklists. That’s pretty serious stuff, though.

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    • I just typed in the name with scams after it. A friend suggested this idea. It’s nice to have friends with ideas. I’m not good of thinking of everything myself. Having this conversation here has been good but I hoped to hear of other’s experiences. Mostly, my blood started to boil when my fellow blogger said NO she had no idea who this person was and when he brandished her name AND blog again but got her name wrong–especially since they were supposed to have had indepth conversations ‘back and forth’.

      I thank you for coming by. We need to share ideas because sharing makes us better.

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  17. There are just so many scammers out there. It is really a shame.

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  18. Risque? So, was he planning to ask you to write something beyond the bounds of propriety? Or exactly what was his cunning plan? Don’t mind me asking, I’m very naive, sorry.

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  19. That’s kind of weird, and kind of creepy. Very strange. You are cool, though, and worth a read. But I would be cautious where and who you latch your name to. You never know how it might bite you later on down the road.

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  20. You handled this person with such a cool and level head. Good for you for noticing the signs and being so good a sleuth. I’m glad I haven’t been approached by anyone like this. My dreams are fragile lately, like so much in my life, and I don’t need to hear from anything more than the crass spammers who lob inappropriate comments at my blogs. So good for you for giving us all a heads up on this guy’s tactic.

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  21. Good for you for checking him out, Tess. At least you spotted the errors in his words… I’ve fallen for tricks similar to this in the past… I’d like to think I’m careful now, but thank you for the warning. Forewarned is forearmed, so they say!

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  22. Sometimes if it’s too good to be true, it probably is. Good for you to check him out.

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    • Thanks, Karen. I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t. I felt good and then too confused. I’m not OLD enough to be so confused and then the stuff I found out….UGH. What’s a girl to do. My ego was massaged for about ten seconds. Darn.

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  23. He sounds like such a shady character! Hey, at least, you got a good post out of it 😉 ❤

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  24. Tess, glad that you trusted your gut (and did research) and decided to not go with this guy. A lot of these scammers think that they’re so slick, but it just takes someone with common sense to see through their crap.

    I feel bad for those who’ve probably fallen for his mess. I’m sure there are poor saps who did.

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  25. Thank you for sharing the experience. An offer of a job, or exposure to one’s writing, is always alluring. But I guess it makes sense to pass-up opportunities if we are not convinced about the credentials of the offer-maker.

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