How the Cookie Crumbles

An irreverant view of life after SIXTY-FIVE

Flash in the Pan – Ashes

23 Comments


Max knew the dope was killing him. Why wasn’t he dead already? The grit in his eyes hurt like hell, as did his hair–both roots and follicles. Something smelled bad.

Wiki-Commons Sad Girl

A ticking clock drove him insane. He couldn’t move. Margie’s voice, warm as honey, penetrated his brain, “Don’t leave me a complete orphan, will you?”Margie, I wish I could be strong like you want, but it’s too late.

A mind-killing jangling interrupted his thoughts. I’m surely dying now.

The answering machine clicked on. “Max, are you there? This is Margie. Where have you been all week? Call me. Please.”

Max tried to sit up. He saw blood on his chest—lots of it. Was he dead already?

His mouth tasted ashes.

* * *

Ashes was inspired by M3 Flash Fiction challenge. You MUST check it out and play!

The word limit for ashes is 125 words; this post is 123 words.

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Author: Let's CUT the Crap!

I'm getting a little LONG in the tooth and have things to say about---ouch---AGEing. I believe it's certainly a state of mind but sometimes it's nice to hear that you're NORMAL. I enjoy reading by the truckload. I'm a grandma but I don't feel OLD although I'm not so young anymore. My plan is to stick it out as long as I can on this lovely planet and only will leave it kicking and screaming!

23 thoughts on “Flash in the Pan – Ashes

  1. This is great. You could expand this into a terrific story…so talented.

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  2. Wow! That was an awesome story. I wanna play too!

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  3. Awesome! I love it! Linking now 😉
    Red.
    xxx

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  4. Amazing piece. …..and I want more! Excellent writing, Tess. Thinking of expanding on it?

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  5. Oh my goodness Tess you surely aren’t going to leave it there? Come on turn this into a full length story for your fans please!

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  6. Wow, really powerful, it grabs you and runs!

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  7. Oh wow!
    Brilliant story Tess!

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  8. I’m really impressed by your ability to make a story with so few words. It’s something I, with my tendency to ramble, could never do! Good work, Tess.

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  9. Love that story. That’ll teach him to be a dope head!

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  10. Powerful stuff, Tess. You are great at creating tension!

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Some things in life are complicated. Let's keep it simple.

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