Max knew the dope was killing him. Why wasn’t he dead already? The grit in his eyes hurt like hell, as did his hair–both roots and follicles. Something smelled bad.
Wiki-Commons Sad Girl
A ticking clock drove him insane. He couldn’t move. Margie’s voice, warm as honey, penetrated his brain, “Don’t leave me a complete orphan, will you?”Margie, I wish I could be strong like you want, but it’s too late.
A mind-killing jangling interrupted his thoughts. I’m surely dying now.
The answering machine clicked on. “Max, are you there? This is Margie. Where have you been all week? Call me. Please.”
Max tried to sit up. He saw blood on his chest—lots of it. Was he dead already?
His mouth tasted ashes.
Ashes was inspired by M3 Flash Fiction challenge. You MUST check it out and play!
The word limit for ashes is 125 words; this post is 123 words.
How the Cookie Crumbles 
September 18, 2012 at 9:18 pm
This is great. You could expand this into a terrific story…so talented.
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September 18, 2012 at 10:01 pm
I’m blushing but I’m pleased you like this story Patricia. Thank you.
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September 18, 2012 at 9:25 pm
Wow! That was an awesome story. I wanna play too!
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September 18, 2012 at 10:00 pm
Thank you, Susan. Come on along!
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September 19, 2012 at 8:36 pm
The more the merrier, Susan. Thank you.
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September 18, 2012 at 9:27 pm
Awesome! I love it! Linking now 😉
Red.
xxx
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September 18, 2012 at 9:59 pm
YOU’RE awesome but I thank you.
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September 19, 2012 at 8:36 pm
Thank YOU, Red on both counts.
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September 18, 2012 at 11:02 pm
Amazing piece. …..and I want more! Excellent writing, Tess. Thinking of expanding on it?
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September 19, 2012 at 8:35 pm
I might see my way to it. I’ll have to give it a look-see. Thanks for commenting, Judy.
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September 19, 2012 at 1:48 am
Oh my goodness Tess you surely aren’t going to leave it there? Come on turn this into a full length story for your fans please!
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September 19, 2012 at 8:34 pm
Hmm. That’s a thought. Thanks Gilly.
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September 19, 2012 at 5:19 am
Wow, really powerful, it grabs you and runs!
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September 19, 2012 at 8:33 pm
Thanks, Vanessa. Sometimes I get lucky. I have fun playing.
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September 19, 2012 at 6:33 am
Oh wow!
Brilliant story Tess!
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September 19, 2012 at 8:33 pm
Thank you, Ghia. Glad you like it.
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September 19, 2012 at 1:21 pm
I’m really impressed by your ability to make a story with so few words. It’s something I, with my tendency to ramble, could never do! Good work, Tess.
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September 19, 2012 at 8:32 pm
Thanks, Laurie. I like playing and I can’t ramble because my vocaabulary is limited. Tee hee.
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September 20, 2012 at 8:01 am
Love that story. That’ll teach him to be a dope head!
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September 21, 2012 at 1:19 pm
That’s for sure! Thanks for dropping by, Rose.
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September 23, 2012 at 10:43 am
Scary things must happen when your mind isn’t present, I’m sure. Thanks for coming by, Rose.
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October 6, 2012 at 11:00 pm
Powerful stuff, Tess. You are great at creating tension!
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October 9, 2012 at 9:53 am
Thanks, Naomi. It’s nice to hear when something’s working.
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