Grandma hasn’t lost her touch.
Hot Damn. You don’t believe this, do you? You should.
Thursday night she dusted off her FOUR-inch heels and donned a short dress–yes, it was above her knees and in an animal print. She put on her biggest earrings. Party time, she hummed.
Short by two months, it’s been six years since she retired. Without ruining the mystery, whatever needed strapping down, firming up, wrapping tightly, polishing, spackling, refinishing, colouring, and powdering, went off as smoothly as if Michelangelo was in the house.
Getting There
Grandma left in plenty of time for cocktails at 5:30 p.m. The occasion, if you’re wondering, was the 100th birthday of her last employer. In addition, this was also the induction of one hundred and seventy-six MORE, 25- and 40-year employees. .
The only venue to accommodate such a mammoth crowd was easy to find. Except for maintenance work here and major roadwork there, necessitating a couple of detours and a few frayed nerves, the drive went smoothly, considering it was rush hour. Still, she was only a mite perturbed.
Grandma arrived according to instructions, but the parking lot was fenced off. “Where are we all supposed to park?” she muttered. “What kind of planning is this?” The building’s marquee advertised a huge presentation two days hence. “But the parking lot is ripped up”, she grumbled, “How will they manage in time?”
Another sign with a recognizable logo and arrow pointed to a side-street up ahead. An on-duty policeman directed traffic and asked questions. “Follow the signs,” he said.
The parking lot looked full. Grandma hadn’t had this much stress or excitement since attending a 60th birthday party a year before. Parking is always a devil, isn’t it?
This wasn’t menopause by a long shot, yet she felt hot; perspiring and praying she didn’t embarrass herself by having a nosebleed—something to do with altitude. Luckily–she noticed–this last parking spot.
On four-inch-heels, she sprinted out of her car to the waiting bus—a luxury model– seats ran around the perimeter of the walls and windows like a l-o-n-g limousine (car) does.
After a sweet rideto the venue, old history showed itself: for some, time had hardly passed; for others, it had galloped away.
o 0 o
If you think I am crowing, you’re right. I felt grrr-eat. Thursday night I even noticed recognized a few lots of older than Adam and=Eve types ogling me without a health plan and I worried I’d be the reason for their demise without knowing where the Health and Safety Department was located.
0 0 o
Grandma is ME. I had a great time visiting my old friends and even if I pat myself on the back, I have more vim, vigor and vitality than those who are supposed to be my equals (age-wise).
Can you stand three hours in four-inch heels? I did! Yes–I won’t lie–I suffered for about a day afterwards, but hey I’m out of practice.
Yep, it’s ALL about the shoes and the dress—and holding it together.
I’ve still got it and proud I do. Fooled you. Fooled me too!
October 3, 2012 at 12:49 am
Wonderful news. You GO, girl! I don’t know that I ever rocked it in 4-inch heels, but if I could, you know I would! Isn’t retirement great–nice to see everyone again but nice to know you don’t have to show up at the salt mines the next day. Great post!
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 9:33 pm
Hey there, Sylvia. NICE to hear from you. I believe I’m still feeling the altitude and high from the other night.Thank goodness I didn’t get nosebleed up on those stilettoes.
Retirement is awesome especially since I now do only what I want. I volunteer in a bookstore one shift a week but that’s so much better than the ‘salt mines’. I finally have my cat co-operating and not meowing her fool head off because she thinks breakfast should be instant. She’s quiet till the alarm goes off. Good enough for me.
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 2:10 am
Go glamorous grandma! I have no idea how you managed those heels but I bet you looked fab – any photos?
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 9:27 pm
Hi Gilly. I had it all setup with my daughter to take photos before I went out but with all that spackling, tugging, pushing up and pushing down etc. to look presentable, I ran late and had to beg off. Maybe another time.
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 2:51 am
Nothing quite like a pair of heels for a pick me up – physically and mentally 😉
Glad you had a fab time at the party Tess!
And of course you’ve still got it!!
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 9:25 pm
Either I still do have it or those durn shoes was majick. I can’t wait to wear them again to see if they’ve a one night deal. Ha ha. I don’t have much opportunity for 4-inch killers. Thank you, Ghia, for coming by.
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 3:09 am
Never a fool shall I be. I never doubted you girl! But it is soo awesome to see you “strutt your stuff”
Somehow Tess you have never struck me as a roll up the sleeves and settle into a sedentary life.
You should know too that I may be less than your age number but you strutt circles around this Barefoot Baroness. I have never even wore a pair of 4″ heels. In fact heels and I never got a long.
So if I said I Hope You Dance, I so know you do!!
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 9:23 pm
Thanks so much, BB. I’ve never been so full of vim, vigor or vitality before retirement. I guess I’m simply doing the things that make me happy. You’d never believe I was once a wallflower…even I can barely believe it.
LikeLike
October 4, 2012 at 2:44 am
I just think you are a Rock Star. I hope Tess that I continue to have the same zest for life and all things that feed the soul as I continue moving forward in life You are in inspiration to me.
I understand the wallflower thing. I often say I am a late bloomer as I find I am just coming into my authentic self. So I relate.
You keep those shoes dusted off girl and that dress freshly pressed.. ah. not to be confused with WP freshly pressed.. 😉
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 6:48 am
Well done you. It sounds like the event really boosted your self esteem.
I also don’t do heels but admire those who can and do 🙂
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 9:19 pm
I’ve worn heels my entire working life. When I retired I wondered how I would manage to walk without them. I bought some boot-like shoes with a cuban type heel so I wouldn’t be running around in flats. That’s what gave me a bad back, walking in flats. Thanks for the support, Optie.
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 7:01 am
Nothing like four inch heels to make a woman feel great! I try to explain this to Gill and still she wears Birkenstocks to most events…we know how to live, don’t we? What’s a sore back in the general scheme of things?
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 9:16 pm
Isn’t that the truth about the shoes making you feel like a million bucks (the newly minted kind not the used bills). Truth be told, which surprised the heck out of me, is my back was fine. What hurt was about an inch below my toes but it was WORTH it. Thanks, Laurie. Did I mention these shoes had a zipper in back, which I found to be a total turn on. Who knew?
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 8:01 am
“Time had galloped away”? Funny.
And I know you’re holding real steady in your 4-inch heels and all. Least you’d better be, else you won’t be galavanting all over town like a sex kitten in your animal print.
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 9:13 pm
Strapping on those heels was like getting on a bicycle after twenty years. It all came back smooth as butter. I can’t recall the last time shoes gave me this much umph.
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 9:16 pm
You go, girl.
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 8:55 am
Lady, you are smokin’ hot! Love them shoes 🙂
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 9:06 pm
You’re so right. Did I mention they zip up the back? I tell you, I oozed confidence.
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 8:58 am
Grandma is a hottie! You go girl! I love the shoes and the dress, and I am sure you looked amazing! 🙂
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 9:04 pm
I sure FELT amazing; I don’t care what anyone says. Those heels worked magic on me.
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 9:04 am
You are my twin sister for sure! Screw comfort!
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 9:03 pm
Hi Nancy. Actually, I was lucky until the end of the evening. I shouldn’t have taken a seat during the presentation. Standing for three hours gave me a little grief but you’re right the shoes did the trick…they have this zipper in the back…
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 11:06 am
Yeouch.
The heels are killer…and so is the dress!
I bet you rocked that look!
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 9:01 pm
Thank you, Jenny. I sure FELT I rocked. It was all about the shoes. They have a zipper in the back. Simply thinking about it (the zipper) gave me the shivers–gave me LOTS of confidence, or sparkle, or something.
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 1:29 pm
Way to go! You are my inspiration for aging. I hope to be rockin’ heels and a dress like that until I drop!
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 8:58 pm
I don’t know anything about ‘aging’. What the heck is THAT?
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 2:00 pm
Hey, can I borrow that outfit sometime? I love it and love the post!
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 8:57 pm
Sure, anytime, but it might be too big on you. Thanks so much for dropping by.
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 2:34 pm
It sounds like you had a wonderful time and provided some eye candy for several folks. You’ve still got it. What a great feeling. It was so much fun to read this post!
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 8:56 pm
I was still sizzling when I wrote this post. Thanks, Len. I sure had a better time than I imagined.
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 4:19 pm
Go you, Tess! Glad you had a good time – that makes everything worth it!
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 8:55 pm
Oh yeah, I sure did. Thanks, Tom.
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 7:45 pm
Never doubted you for a moment…lol
Be encouraged!
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 8:54 pm
Thanks, Stephen.
LikeLike
October 3, 2012 at 9:17 pm
You rock!! I just moved my 88 year old mother into assisted living and, when going through her stuff, found a similar pair of shoes…going to deliver them to her new pad tomorrow! She can use them to wear to the dining room, where she’ll bump into the man who showed up in his red, silk pajamas the other day. Retired is the new 40…
LikeLike
October 4, 2012 at 10:28 am
I figure that the only thing missing from this posting is ‘You’ in your finery, indeed this is a wonderful story and rather naughty of you to hide the reality from us until right at the end, but this is what makes a wickedly orchestrated tale, and I have enjoyed reading this one Tess.
I know that I am new to your Space so I hope that my references regarding the picture of you does not offend, in truth I think that you are a true Vamp and why not, as age is just a number 🙂
Androgoth
LikeLike
October 4, 2012 at 12:42 pm
Androgoth, thank you. No offense taken. I had planned a photo-op, but with all the ‘work’ required to pull together this dazzling grandma, it took longer than I had planned. I had to fly sans history making proof of self and wicked stilettos.
LikeLike
October 4, 2012 at 10:45 pm
Wow! Hope you have a great time.
LikeLike
October 6, 2012 at 1:20 pm
Wonderful. Wonderful.
LikeLike
October 5, 2012 at 6:35 pm
Well done Tess! Bet you were stupendous!
LikeLike
October 6, 2012 at 2:53 pm
You were workin’ it! Glad that you had fun.
LikeLike
October 9, 2012 at 9:49 am
Yep, Girls ‘just wanna have fun’. Even mature gals. Hee hee.
LikeLike
October 6, 2012 at 4:45 pm
How grand. Loved the line, time had hardly passed; for others, it had galloped away. What a hoot. Keep on rocken them babe.
LikeLike
October 9, 2012 at 9:50 am
Nice to see you Tricia and thanks. Sometimes I think I’m just now coming into my own. Ha.
LikeLike
October 6, 2012 at 6:13 pm
Lol. Glad you had a good time 🙂
LikeLike
October 9, 2012 at 9:52 am
It was the shoes, Angie. Picture shoes with zippers up the back. Made me feel like a million bucks.
LikeLike
October 6, 2012 at 11:04 pm
Oh, Tess, you made me smile from ear to ear, you sassy Grandma! I stopped wearing heels decades ago, but now you got me thinking about animal prints! You are truly an inspiration!
LikeLike
October 9, 2012 at 9:54 am
Ha, ha Naomi. I have my moments…but a few.
LikeLike
October 8, 2012 at 9:11 am
The animal print dress looks so perfect! Stylish and vampish but subdued because of the shift style. Understated, which is always so elegant! What a great start to the night! I bet you looked gorgeous! 🙂
LikeLike
October 9, 2012 at 9:55 am
Hi Gigi and thanks. If nothing else, I sure FELT gorgeous and the dress was comfortable but the SHOES created that vampish feeling…
LikeLike
October 9, 2012 at 11:00 am
Good for you. I am sure you ROCKED those heels. You are a cool grandma.
LikeLike
October 16, 2012 at 5:49 am
I am just calling by to have
another read of this one, you
naughty Vamp you 🙂 lol
Androgoth
LikeLike
October 17, 2012 at 2:57 pm
Ha ha. I have my moments–once or twice a year…
LikeLike
October 17, 2012 at 5:23 pm
🙂 😉
Androgoth
LikeLike