How the Cookie Crumbles

Life in the fast and slow lanes after SIXTY-FIVE

Goodbye 2012


Here’s another year whistling by and thumbing its nose at us. I’m not going to bemoan something I have no control over. As well I’m not making any New Year’s resolutions either. What I am going to do is break more rules. A couple of weeks ago, I had a stern discussion with myself.

Why am I getting up at 7:00 a.m., seven days a week? When is my retirement going to kick in? It’s been six years. Sure, sure, the cat needs to be fed, but, which one of us is more important? Hm?

I’m happy to say Lady Gaga, is trained not to bother me until her cat alarm clock goes off. Her inner clock is spot on. She becomes antsy about ten minutes before the alarm goes off. I’ve choked laughing when I’ve caught her many times, studying the large red numbers on the bedside alarm clock. When the buzzer goes off she flies straight into the air. Every morning. To tick her off, I sometimes go to the bathroom  before I feed her.

For the first time in a-g-e-s, I’ve collapsed back into bed and slept till ungodly hours afterwards. I hang my head in shame, but I promise myself more of the same in the New Year.


What’s Ticked Me off This Year

Why is there no magic potion for crepe chest? I’ve most likely had it for twenty-five years but it’s bothering me now. What took me so long? I wonder if sleeping on one’s side contributes or accelerates this condition. I’ve tried flinging an arm behind my back. Pfft. I refuse to wear scarves or closed neck tops.


As you know, I don’t have a partner. I noticed a new development in my kitchen this past year. If I’m feeding only one person breakfast, lunch and dinner, where the heck are all the dirty dishes in my sink coming from? Loads of them and every day.


For years I’ve enjoyed highlights in my hair. I hate the dark colour against my blah-tinted mature skin. In November, I made an appointment for a trim two weeks before Christmas My hairdresser asked, “Are you sure you don’t want a colour?” I was so sure I didn’t but it was a big mistake. After my cut, what a rude awakening. I have grey hair? Where the heck did it come from? And all at once? Ugh.


Another rip-off came to my attention. I love spiral notebooks. I have trouble scratching anything onto the paper because I have arthritis in two fingers, but I like having one handy. How much thinner can the paper be made? At this rate, I can’t write on both sides of the page and anyway, I seem to scribble right through it and rip the paper.

Other than these few constraints on my valuable time, I’m hunky-dory and ready for the New Year.

MH900440952 Wishing you and yours a healthy, happy and prosperous New Year.


Author: Let's CUT the Crap!

I'm getting a little LONG in the tooth and have things to say about---ouch---AGEing. I believe it's certainly a state of mind but sometimes it's nice to hear that you're NORMAL. I enjoy reading by the truckload. I'm a grandma but I don't feel OLD although I'm not so young anymore. My plan is to stick it out as long as I can on this lovely planet and only will leave it kicking and screaming!

22 thoughts on “Goodbye 2012

  1. Well, this made me laugh! You are a card, my dear. Have a wonderful New Year breaking more rules. I will do the same! Hugs and laughter.


  2. I think it is interesting you set your alarm. I only set it the days I work or have a reason to get up early. Teddy is a joy; he never bugs me to be fed until I am out of bed be that 7am or noon.


    • A number of times I forgot to set the alarm and because Lady Gaga is used to waiting for the alarm to go off, she sits and stars at the clock. What a howl. My previous cats were never as anxious as she is for breakfast. Maybe Teddy is not only handsome but a gentleman cat.


  3. Yes, you should definitely break more rules in 2013! Lovely post. Happy New Year to you Tess 🙂


  4. Excellent post, yes why not be kinder to yourself, the cat’s body clock will adjust over time. Happy New Year!


  5. Breaking rules seems to be a theme as we age! Happy New Year, Tess…


  6. Happy new years, Ms. Tess – I hope your 2013 is full of healthy limit-testing. Great post!


  7. I think I might need a colour of some kind – my grey is all over these days 😉
    and, as my mom says – she has nowhere to be in a hurry, what on earth is stopping her from sleeping late? Enjoy your retirement Tess – you have, after all, worked hard for it!!
    and enjoy the year’s things. Even if it is just the same old things dressed differently 😉


    • Ha ha, Ghia. I did say I was going to break all the rules this year even though I had no definite plan yet. Seems the New Year heard me and put on the push. I’m never slacking again. It’s all going to be Me. Me. Me.


  8. Well if you’ve been retired 6 years and only not got cross with crepey bits and grey hair you doing pretty good girl! Keep doing what you’re doing and have a wonderful 2013!


  9. You are not even mildly ready to accept all these strange things with age! Have fun, I do. My hair changes color on a regular basis, don’t just have a color have many if you want. Dishes? Buy the throw away kind then they don’t pile up!

    Naps, love them. They are not a sign of age they are sign we have learned to savor our personal space.

    Happy and peaceful 2013.


    • You’re making me giggle, Valentine. I should have listened to my hair-dresser and not been in such a hurry to save time or whatever my hurry was. Can’t wait till next week to get back to normal. I’m never slacking off again.


  10. Happy New Year. Sounds like you’re ready.


  11. A fun post, Tess. Glad you are going to let yourself sleep in. Made me smile again and again.


Some things in life are complicated. Let's keep it simple.

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s