Jennifer Eaton of http://jennifermeaton.com/sunday-snippets/ has initiated this Critique Blog Hop. Read the rules and sign up. You’ll find the other submissions at the bottom of this post.
This is the opening from a short story with the working title Whatever Will Be. I did run over the 250-word count because I couldn’t break off at that point. Please pardon the imposition.
~ * ~
Twelve-year old Rosie stamped her feet and hurled the stuffed bear to the floor. “Jerri, grow up.” She gulped air, skinny hands on narrow hips. Her sister glanced up, blowing a whopping pink bubble. The gum stuck to her nose like a deflated parachute. Unperturbed, Jerri picked it off and poked the sticky goop back into her mouth. With a dramatic sigh she flicked another page of her magazine. “You’re gonna catch it—sneaking around again.” Jerri chewed and snapped her gum hard. With a languid hand she patted her drugstore blonde hair.
“He’s so hunky, don’t you think?” She tipped her head towards Rosie. “The way his baby blues fit snug around his hips and those cowboy boots—nobody in this rat’s nest town has anything like them.” Jerri hugged the True Confessions magazine, scrunching its pages to her remarkable teenage chest. “He’s a dreamboat and he’s mine.” She melted into the burgundy sofa, and the mountain of pillows, eyes closed.
“You’re impossible.” Rosie stamped out of the living-room. The door all but ripped off its hinges as she slammed it. Yeah, I’m familiar with The Dog. What a name. Ich.
She sprang up the street towards town, a three-minute stroll with her long legs. “Hey, Willis. Hold up. Whatcha doing?”
“Hi, Rosie. Gotta pick up some nails for my dad. We’re building a go-cart for next Saturday’s race. See ya.” Willis flew like a bullet up the hot mud-packed shoulder, holey runners kicking up dust against his well-patched pants. Rosie blinked startled eyes; her hand in mid-wave before he was gone. “Bye…Willis.”
~ * ~
Click on over to these great writers to check out and critique what they’ve posted!