How the Cookie Crumbles

Life and scribbles on the far side of SIXTY-FIVE

Butt Out


It’s nice we live in a free country, isn’t it? You can shop where you want, buy and wear what you want, and do almost anything so long as it’s legal.

I’ve heard visitors / newcomers from other countries say they are appalled at how North Americans go out in public: in jeans or shorts for all occasions; T-shirts too small or too big, ripped or dirty; scuffed and / or filthy, grimy shoes or flip-flops, beat up and grubby running shoes etc.

If you’re at home in the backyard cooking, cleaning, painting, cutting the grass—go for it. I don’t disagree with what you choose to wear or how you wear it. You’re the king of your castle.

Is it too much to ask a little care about your appearance in the grocery store, pharmacy, coffee shop and so on?

Should I be waiting for the light to change, please do not pass me on your bike with your pants half off. Male or female, this picture of you crouched over the handlebars isn’t attractive.

I don’t want to trip over you when you bend down to reach for the spaghetti sauce in the grocery store. That exclamation point down the back of your pants is not my idea of a room with a view.

As well, when I am in the pharmacy looking at vitamins, I have no interest in an introduction to your butt cheeks.

Worst of all, when I’m enjoying myself in a coffee shop, I never want to drop my face in shock when you flash your fat, hairy behind a foot-and-a-half from my face and I faint from shock. On the banquette. Ugh. Someone, half-dressed like you probably sat in the very spot my nose almost nuzzled.

Microsoft Clipart

Microsoft Clipart

I don’t know you and most of the other patrons don’t either. Please be kind to strangers and don’t flash that thing at me in public? Can you not feel a breeze? Don’t you care how you look? Consider your hygiene as well as that of others.

On the other hand, if you are still within a block of over-the-hill, and have a nice tight…like you know—plumbers, contractors, firemen—the calendar types…

Nope. Forget it. Don’t show off what your pants are supposed to cover when you’re out and about in town.

Then again, what goes on behind closed doors, but that’s another story.


Author: Let's CUT the Crap!

I'm getting a little LONG in the tooth and have things to say about---ouch---AGEing. I believe it's certainly a state of mind but sometimes it's nice to hear that you're NORMAL. I enjoy reading by the truckload. I'm a grandma but I don't feel OLD although I'm not so young anymore. My plan is to stick it out as long as I can on this lovely planet and only will leave it kicking and screaming!

39 thoughts on “Butt Out

  1. I am so opposed to seeing people’s butts. I really am. So I fully agree with this. 🙂


  2. I’m not in favor of flashing butt cracks either. What next?


  3. Maybe that’s why tramp stamps went out of vogue – thank goodness!


  4. I’m with you on this. I don’t like big bellies hanging over a belt and below the shirt either.


  5. I don’t like too much exposed flesh either and just at work this week a guy was knelt beside with his back to me and not only was that ‘exclamation point’ flashing but also the elastic of his underpants which was printed in red with ‘Wild Beast’ all around it!


  6. I so agree! It was a fashion a few years ago for ladies (and maybe “ladies” isn’t the right word!) to have the top of their thongs showing over the top of their jeans at the back – why?! Who found that attractive? I have nothing against people making the most of their assets through their choice of clothing but there really is a right and a wrong way to do that. But there is no right way to show a butt crack in public!


  7. And it’s SO UNCOMFORTABLE! Spare yourself, as well as us!


  8. No butts about it, totally agree with you. Australians suffer from the same affliction.


  9. Funny! I am in complete agreement this ‘fashion’ statement must end.


  10. Well done at make your point through humor. While in Europe in recent years, their dress is noteworthy!


  11. there’s no context in which I’d want to look down a man’s crack. He could be Brad Pitt for all I care, that’s just not a good angle. men may feel differently, though.


  12. Plumber’s crack – not all it’s cracked up to be 😉
    And I’ve yet to see a good looking plumber that might make me WANT to see said piece!!
    Then again, if not for badly dressed Americans in Walmart, the rest of the world would not have half as much fun as they currently do 🙂


  13. I knooooooow. I hate it too! We must be the best presentation of ourselves out in public, if possible. Happy mother’s day!


  14. What really irks me are teenage girls coming to church in short shorts. C’mon! How disrespectful! There are a lot of no-class bipeds out there who really need to be locked in a closet.

    Love your blog!


  15. We have them over here in the UK as well, Tess. The thing is, they always appear to be illuminated in some way… and magnified!


  16. Ah….the wonders of the plumbers crack. 🙂


  17. Well said. There’s a fine line between personal freedoms and indecency and there are some things that should only be behind doors.


Some things in life are complicated. Let's keep it simple.

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