How the Cookie Crumbles

Life and scribbles on the far side of SIXTY-FIVE

Flash in the Pan – Right

27 Comments


A low rumble shivered beneath their spotless boots like an annoyed moan.

“Let’s go!”

Fine stone and sand showered the chamber. Jack coughed as if he had a rattlesnake in his throat. His flashlight tumbled out of his grasp as he leaned forward to catch a breath.

Roger flashed his light at him and covered his nose and mouth. “I’m outta here.”

Microsoft Clipart

Microsoft Clipart

“Wait…”

“Leave it.”

The protest grew like rolling thunder. Roger spit dirt. “You wanna be right—or dead?”

The uncertain ground wobbled. Jack pounced forward, propelled through the entrance as crashing rock exploded behind him.

He plunged alone.

~ * ~

The word limit for Right is 100 words. I used all of them.

For the rules and to join, check out: http://mommasmoneymatters.com/flash-fiction/ for the new quarter of Flash in the Pan.

Author: Let's CUT the Crap!

I'm getting a little LONG in the tooth and have things to say about---ouch---AGEing. I believe it's certainly a state of mind but sometimes it's nice to hear that you're NORMAL. I enjoy reading by the truckload. I'm a grandma but I don't feel OLD although I'm not so young anymore. My plan is to stick it out as long as I can on this lovely planet and only will leave it kicking and screaming!

27 thoughts on “Flash in the Pan – Right

  1. Great story. I so support Jack. Don’t you hate those stories where the world’s falling in and the heroes decide to stay just to check one last thing!

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  2. Echoes of Indiana Jones, I love it!

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  3. Wonderful flash! The images and sounds are great, and I could taste the dirt!

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  4. Powerful story, Tess. You are so good at making so much happen so well with so few words!

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  5. I would read more!!!!!!!!!!! 😉

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  6. Wow, good one and great descriptions, “like a rattlesnake in his throat” !!!

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  7. Pingback: Flash in the Pan – Right | Joe's Musings

  8. Oh boy!!!
    He was right – and dead – good story Tess!

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  9. Nice job! I love the part about coughing like he has a rattlesnake in his throat. Very cool.

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  10. Wonderfully done Tess, just exactly ‘right’.

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  11. I love your flashes.

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  12. I would rather be right than dead… not right and dead.
    xxx

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