How the Cookie Crumbles

Life and scribbles on the far side of SIXTY-FIVE

Between the Covers


When you need help, who do you turn to? The natural response might be a friend.  Friends don’t always have experience in the help you need, although they mean well. Then there are DIY manuals with instructions. They read like guidebooks: dry and tedious.

I read a book last weekend I wish had been available two-and- a-half years ago. I wish I’d had it to turn to then, but it is available now, and everyone should read it.

I want to introduce you to a book by Red Dwyer titled, “Killing Us Softly.”


 Click here to read more

She writes with reflection and directness about her own experiences when cancer arrived uninvited into her household, took over her life, and stole her husband’s. She explains the best ways to handle circumstances you cannot avoid and how to preserve precious energy as best you can.

This is not a handbook but a chronicle of an insurmountable life experience shared with the Reader: this is what happened; these were the difficulties; for best results this is what works. Honest. Direct. Exact.

Red Dwyer is a no-nonsense sharer of truths. Killing Us Softly is divided into segments which are easy to understand. If you wish to flip through the chapters to choose any particular section, all the information is arranged in an easy-to-follow layout. Or, like me, you can read this informative book from cover to cover in two sittings. Anyone who reads it will gain indispensable facts from between these covers.

I tried to stop after a couple of chapters but I became so caught up in the writing, I couldn’t put the book down until the end.

The author doesn’t collapse under the weight of her undertaking; she intends to celebrate her and her husband’s married life together until the end. She creates memories—happy ones—for her husband, her family, and for herself. How does anyone do that under the circumstances? How does anyone manage a large family, tend to her husband, research his illness, write and create happy memories too?

The words of wisdom interwoven in the story: what works and what doesn’t, are worth the read alone.  Emotional reactions, doubts, confusion in an alien world all need to be addressed. Red Dwyer has lived all of those situations and shares her experience in a straightforward manner.

I highly recommend this read. Check it out; you won’t regret the time well-spent.

Red Dwyer is also the Promoter, Publicist, and Publisher of Redmund Productions and the blogger at


Author: Let's CUT the Crap!

I'm getting a little LONG in the tooth and have things to say about---ouch---AGEing. I believe it's certainly a state of mind but sometimes it's nice to hear that you're NORMAL. I enjoy reading by the truckload. I'm a grandma but I don't feel OLD although I'm not so young anymore. My plan is to stick it out as long as I can on this lovely planet and only will leave it kicking and screaming!

27 thoughts on “Between the Covers

  1. When my mom was diagnosed with cancer two years ago, I found it very difficult to handle the emotions that goes with it.
    I can imagine that a book like this would have helped me make sense of it all – thanks for the heads up Tess..


  2. Thank you, Tess. I hope it gave you some insight into some of the path you have walked.


    • Thanks, Red, and you’re welcome. Had I read the book a couple of years ago, I bet I might have cut out some of the unnecessary people, asking stupid questions and generally getting in the way–like my mom’s best friend. In the end my mom asked to see her but she couldn’t come until a day or two later. Broke my mother’s heart. That’s just one instance and three days before mom died.


      • His sister and brother-in-law made it (under threat). When they left to go to the hotel (25 minutes away), he was gone before they got to the desk. I know how important those last visits are and the disappointment of his feeling like he was less important than “everyday life”.


      • That how my mom felt, never important enough in the 60+ years they were friends. I know it broke her heart.


  3. I have wondered about your ‘back story’, Tess. Although you say the book would have helped you two years ago, I’d say, from what I’ve seen, that you have forged your own path quite successfully. Kudos to you for not just surviving but thriving in your journey! You should be very proud of your own path. But it is very generous of you to make the path easier for others embarking on it. Sounds like a great book.


  4. I am losing my brother to cancer. The family watches as we lose a little bit of him every day. It’s a cruel and heartless disease (but what disease isn’t, I suppose). I might just have to check out this book.


    • I lost my mom three years ago this December. I wish I had knowledge of how to best look after me in the process. Family and friends sometimes make life harder instead of easier. Of course, each situation is different but I found helpful information in this book. If you do read it, let me know how you found it to be for you.


  5. Good review. You gave real reasons to read it and it sounds very worthwhile.


  6. Thank you for a wonderful book suggestion. I agree with other comments, you’ve certainly done a great job on your own merit. It’s great when something comes along, though, that bolsters us in where we’ve come and where we might go.


  7. Thank you, Tess for this important and what sounds like a great read.


  8. Tess what an excellent review you’ve written. It sounds like Red’s book should be on many, many shelves.


  9. What a lovely review! I’m going to read it now! Thank you. 🙂


  10. What a wonderful review you did of a book I have read, twice and loved.


  11. Wow sounds absolutely gripping. Thanks for sharing it!


Some things in life are complicated. Let's keep it simple.

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