How the Cookie Crumbles

Life and scribbles on the far side of SIXTY-FIVE

Flash in the Pan – Up

32 Comments


“Don’t wait up. I might be home late tonight”

“Why? Where are you going in this dreadful downpour?”

Louise clacked across the tiled floor and planted a wayward kiss missing his mouth. “I might have a surprise for you.” In a flash, she was gone.

Simon blinked and combed calloused fingers through his sparse hair. He watched a taxi materialize; Louise sprang inside. Rain rivulets slithered down the front windowpane, a curtain of disguise, obscuring disappointment.

He paced. Hours passed. The house phone jangled. Simon’s eyes fluttered. Startled, he gaped at the black gadget and watched his digits claw the receiver as if to strangle it.

“Simon?”

He nodded. A finger of dread crawled down his throat. “Yy-e-es?”

Microsoft Clipart

Microsoft Clipart

“Where’s Louise? It’s Mark.”

“Who?”

Your brother-in…”

“Mark?”

“When I arrived tonight…police dogs all over, a scuffle at the airport. I heard…Louise…arrested at Departures…”

“No, she…a surprise… Stop!”

“Turn on the TV.”

 

~ * ~

The word limit for Up is 150 words. I used all of them.

For the rules to join the New Summer Quarter of Flash in the Pan, check out: http://mommasmoneymatters.com/flash-fiction/

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Author: Let's CUT the Crap!

I'm getting a little LONG in the tooth and have things to say about---ouch---AGEing. I believe it's certainly a state of mind but sometimes it's nice to hear that you're NORMAL. I enjoy reading by the truckload. I'm a grandma but I don't feel OLD although I'm not so young anymore. My plan is to stick it out as long as I can on this lovely planet and only will leave it kicking and screaming!

32 thoughts on “Flash in the Pan – Up

  1. I want you to turn on the TV for me and tell me what she did!! Good one. Really good one!

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  2. What happened??????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  3. The suspense is killing me!

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  4. Now that’s what I call a surprise! 🙂
    I love the curtain of disguise.

    I’d let her hop in, rather than dash inside, which suggests house, not car to me.
    I found the mention of Departures a trifle confusing. She was at the airport to pick up Mark? Or she was planning a trip?

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    • Thank you. I see what you mean about dashing INTO the car. Will have to look at the Departures. I had a hard time deciding if Incoming might be a problem. Thanks so much for speaking up. I always appreciate your input. (Mark saw her; she didn’t see him and then all hell broke loose…) 😉

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      • If you change this one, sent me the revision. I have already pulled it.

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      • Here is the revision, Red. https://letscutthecrap.wordpress.com/2013/09/03/flash-in-the-pan-up/

        Thank YOU.

        Dont wait up. I might be home late tonight

        Why? Where are you going in this dreadful downpour?

        Louise clacked across the tiled floor and planted a wayward kiss missing his mouth. I might have a surprise for you. In a flash, she was gone.

        Simon blinked and combed calloused fingers through his sparse hair. He watched a taxi materialize; Louise sprang inside. Rain rivulets slithered on the front windowpane, a curtain of disguise, obscuring disappointment.

        He paced. Hours passed. The house phone jangled. Simons eyes fluttered. Startled, he gaped at the black gadget and watched his digits claw the receiver as if to strangle it.

        Simon?

        He nodded. A finger of dread crawled down his throat. Yy-e-es?

        Wheres Louise? Its Mark.

        Who?

        *Your brother-in*

        Mark?

        When I arrived tonightpolice dogs all over, a scuffle at the airport. I heardLouisearrested at Departures

        No, shea surprise… Stop!

        Turn on the TV.

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  5. Intriguing – I want to know more 🙂

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  6. Extremely well done Tess. Love the ‘surprise’. Dang, love the ending.

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  7. Oh you tease, how could you leave us hanging like that???

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  8. Oh great, now I have to figure out which channel the news is on! 😉 Good suspense in this one. Leave us all hanging like that.

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  9. Oh man Tess!!!
    Arrested? What happened!!
    Brilliant 😉

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  10. How wicked of you Tess 😉

    Andro xx

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  11. Premium. Tattetales are always twisted.., especially when they have no idea they are tattling.

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  12. You know how to make the most of a little, young lady.
    Well done.

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