“Don’t wait up. I might be home late tonight”
“Why? Where are you going in this dreadful downpour?”
Louise clacked across the tiled floor and planted a wayward kiss missing his mouth. “I might have a surprise for you.” In a flash, she was gone.
Simon blinked and combed calloused fingers through his sparse hair. He watched a taxi materialize; Louise sprang inside. Rain rivulets slithered down the front windowpane, a curtain of disguise, obscuring disappointment.
He paced. Hours passed. The house phone jangled. Simon’s eyes fluttered. Startled, he gaped at the black gadget and watched his digits claw the receiver as if to strangle it.
“Simon?”
He nodded. A finger of dread crawled down his throat. “Yy-e-es?”
Microsoft Clipart
“Where’s Louise? It’s Mark.”
“Who?”
“Your brother-in…”
“Mark?”
“When I arrived tonight…police dogs all over, a scuffle at the airport. I heard…Louise…arrested at Departures…”
“No, she…a surprise… Stop!”
“Turn on the TV.”
~ * ~
The word limit for Up is 150 words. I used all of them.
For the rules to join the New Summer Quarter of Flash in the Pan, check out: http://mommasmoneymatters.com/flash-fiction/
How the Cookie Crumbles 
September 3, 2013 at 7:40 pm
I want you to turn on the TV for me and tell me what she did!! Good one. Really good one!
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September 5, 2013 at 8:26 pm
Glad you enjoyed it, Paulette. I keep practising.
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September 3, 2013 at 9:01 pm
What happened??????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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September 5, 2013 at 8:25 pm
My lips are sealed. Sorry, this round anyway.
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September 6, 2013 at 8:21 am
Ugh! 🙂 But okay!
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September 6, 2013 at 5:02 pm
😉
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September 4, 2013 at 1:59 am
The suspense is killing me!
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September 4, 2013 at 9:51 pm
Can I saw I’m pleased without jumping up and down because I got your attention?
Please say yes.
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September 4, 2013 at 11:33 pm
Yes!
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September 4, 2013 at 11:40 pm
Thank YOU!
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September 4, 2013 at 3:09 am
Now that’s what I call a surprise! 🙂
I love the curtain of disguise.
I’d let her hop in, rather than dash inside, which suggests house, not car to me.
I found the mention of Departures a trifle confusing. She was at the airport to pick up Mark? Or she was planning a trip?
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September 4, 2013 at 9:54 pm
Thank you. I see what you mean about dashing INTO the car. Will have to look at the Departures. I had a hard time deciding if Incoming might be a problem. Thanks so much for speaking up. I always appreciate your input. (Mark saw her; she didn’t see him and then all hell broke loose…) 😉
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September 12, 2013 at 3:22 pm
If you change this one, sent me the revision. I have already pulled it.
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September 13, 2013 at 3:54 pm
Will do. Thanks.
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September 13, 2013 at 8:30 pm
Here is the revision, Red. https://letscutthecrap.wordpress.com/2013/09/03/flash-in-the-pan-up/
Thank YOU.
Dont wait up. I might be home late tonight
Why? Where are you going in this dreadful downpour?
Louise clacked across the tiled floor and planted a wayward kiss missing his mouth. I might have a surprise for you. In a flash, she was gone.
Simon blinked and combed calloused fingers through his sparse hair. He watched a taxi materialize; Louise sprang inside. Rain rivulets slithered on the front windowpane, a curtain of disguise, obscuring disappointment.
He paced. Hours passed. The house phone jangled. Simons eyes fluttered. Startled, he gaped at the black gadget and watched his digits claw the receiver as if to strangle it.
Simon?
He nodded. A finger of dread crawled down his throat. Yy-e-es?
Wheres Louise? Its Mark.
Who?
*Your brother-in*
Mark?
When I arrived tonightpolice dogs all over, a scuffle at the airport. I heardLouisearrested at Departures
No, shea surprise… Stop!
Turn on the TV.
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September 4, 2013 at 7:39 am
Intriguing – I want to know more 🙂
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September 4, 2013 at 11:54 pm
I hope so…This has been quite the testing ground for me.
😉
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September 4, 2013 at 9:21 am
Extremely well done Tess. Love the ‘surprise’. Dang, love the ending.
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September 4, 2013 at 11:53 pm
Thank you, Valentine. If you like this, I feel maybe I’m making progress. Yay. Crap, each week is becoming harder not to fall. 😉
I’m not complaining, I feel in a good place.
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September 4, 2013 at 12:12 pm
Oh you tease, how could you leave us hanging like that???
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September 4, 2013 at 11:50 pm
I do my best to see if I can and then I smile…
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September 5, 2013 at 6:45 am
Oh great, now I have to figure out which channel the news is on! 😉 Good suspense in this one. Leave us all hanging like that.
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September 5, 2013 at 8:27 pm
I hope it’s not too much?
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September 7, 2013 at 6:59 am
Oh man Tess!!!
Arrested? What happened!!
Brilliant 😉
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September 11, 2013 at 6:56 pm
How wicked of you Tess 😉
Andro xx
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September 11, 2013 at 7:19 pm
You are too kind, Gray, as always but I still thank you.
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September 11, 2013 at 7:46 pm
I sure like to think so. ;-D
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September 11, 2013 at 7:47 pm
Hey I have just sent you an invite
to my Space, soooo I hope that you
will call in sometime Tess 🙂
Andro xx
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September 12, 2013 at 3:20 pm
Premium. Tattetales are always twisted.., especially when they have no idea they are tattling.
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September 13, 2013 at 3:54 pm
🙂
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December 12, 2013 at 9:54 am
You know how to make the most of a little, young lady.
Well done.
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December 12, 2013 at 9:57 am
Thank YOU. You sure know how to make my day. 😛
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