How the Cookie Crumbles

Life and scribbles on the far side of SIXTY-FIVE

Flash in the Pan – Deranged

40 Comments


Harry flicked his Bic lighter. Click. Snap. The round bartender’s teeth clenched. Two stools down, Benny gawked, mesmerised. His carpenter’s hands ironed denim thighs.

morgueFile free photos

morgueFile free photos

Click, Snap. “What’s you lookin’ at?”

“Nothin’.” Benny rocked in time with the click—regular as a metronome.

“You smoke? Here—I quit.”

Fast as a frog plucking flies, Benny snatched the prize.

“See you around.” Harry vanished.

Click, snap. The bartender smacked his towel hard on the bar. Benny bolted, his beer only half-gone. “That boy’s deranged.” No-one paid attention.

Late that night, smoke and fire-trucks’ lament dominated the dark. The tavern crackled like kindling.

~ * ~

A new Fall Quarter of Flash in the Pan has begun. The theme is Disturbed.

The word limit for Deranged is 100 words. I used them all.

Click: http://mommasmoneymatters.com/flash-fiction/ to check the rules and to join.

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Author: Let's CUT the Crap!

I'm getting a little LONG in the tooth and have things to say about---ouch---AGEing. I believe it's certainly a state of mind but sometimes it's nice to hear that you're NORMAL. I enjoy reading by the truckload. I'm a grandma but I don't feel OLD although I'm not so young anymore. My plan is to stick it out as long as I can on this lovely planet and only will leave it kicking and screaming!

40 thoughts on “Flash in the Pan – Deranged

  1. That’s a really great start. Be a great start to a good action movie. Way to go, Tess!

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  2. You keep me focused and reading until the very end! Great post…

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  3. I like the way your style is evolving in this genre Tess.

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  4. Brilliant – one of your best – great storytelling!

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  5. This is quite sinister. Love the twist at the end too!

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  6. fast as a frog plucking flies!!! love it. 😉

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  7. Great one Tess! These end WAY too fast! 😉

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  8. Firebug, wonderful one Tess. Perfect storytelling.

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  9. Love this piece. Your writing draws me right in.

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  10. I like it, Tess. Click. Snap.

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  11. That was clever. Love the audio.

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  12. Oops!
    Good one Tess 🙂

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  13. Tess, I liked that very much. Loved the line “his carpenter’s hands ironed denim thighs”, and the “sound” effects.

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  14. Tess – It never ceases to amaze me – you tell a splendid story in 100 words. Great writing.

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  15. Good one, Tess! Your timing is awesome.

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  16. I agree with the other blogger who says it’s a great idea for a movie! 🙂

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  17. Deranged indeed… I like this one a lot Tess, and how do
    you weave such a great story with so few words? Well done 🙂

    Andro xxxx

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  18. How sad. I really like this one. Reminds me of classics, like Of Mice and Men…

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