How the Cookie Crumbles

An irreverant view of life after SIXTY-FIVE

Broken Butt

84 Comments


This is serious. If I hear any gigglers in the back, I’m closing shop and going home–the better to lick my wounds in private. Nah, not really.

Two weeks ago, I sat at my dining-room table busy reading posts and leaving comments. The trouble began when I decided to sit on a card chair. Because I’ve been spending so much time on my laptop in this room, I find I hate my dining-room chairs. The seats are sprung (cushioned without any wood underneath) and too deep for me. Most of the time I end up perched on the edge of the chair, hunched over for long periods of time. I don’t notice until the back of my neck becomes stiff and the area between my shoulders, slightly lower than my neck aches.

I chose a card chair for size and thought I’d hit the jackpot. With my back supported, I sat up straight and the back of my knees hung over the edge of this chair just right. Thanks Baby Bear.

morgueFile free photos

morgueFile free photos

What went wrong?

After some time, my concentration of all things blogging, found me on the edge of the chair. This is a run-of-the-mill card chair. You know: a metal square surrounding a lightly padded seat? Yep, the metal edge bit into the bottom of my butt. So, I moved around to lessen the numbness but it wouldn’t go away. The clock read I’d been at it for two hours. Time to go to bed.

The next morning when my feet hit the floor, my butt dragged. I might be mistaken for one of those wooden folding drying racks you setup in your bathtub on rainy days. On the other hand I FELT like the capital Greek letter sigma which means summation. In a nutshell, standing and movement meant pain and bent knees. What a picture. Blah. I can imagine muscle tone loss everywhere but not there. I’ve always considered I came well-padded. Wrong again.

For two weeks I haven’t sat comfortably. I tried cushions, regular foam, and a memory foam pillow. Stop laughing. Nothing helped. I’d broken my butt and had to I avoid stairs at any cost.

Today, I joined some friends at a walking trail for a 5K workout. At first every muscle I never knew my butt used to get me around pulled in the wrong direction, but I hung in there and it has probably loosened them up. I believe I’m getting to normal.

Up to this point, I’ve experienced no major physical issues except for this crimp in my lifestyle. I must remember I’m not sixteen anymore (although I feel about twenty) and shouldn’t take anything for granted anymore.

I can’t understand why I’m falling apart.

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Author: Let's CUT the Crap!

I'm getting a little LONG in the tooth and have things to say about---ouch---AGEing. I believe it's certainly a state of mind but sometimes it's nice to hear that you're NORMAL. I enjoy reading by the truckload. I'm a grandma but I don't feel OLD although I'm not so young anymore. My plan is to stick it out as long as I can on this lovely planet and only will leave it kicking and screaming!

84 thoughts on “Broken Butt

  1. I hope you are not the butt of everyone’s jokes now.
    Surely the end is in sight to this issue.
    I got to the tail end of your post and was not sure why you are falling apart either.

    Okay. I’m done. 🙂

    I hope your butt issues are resolved!

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  2. Really sorry to hear about this, Tess. Pain and suffering aren’t joking matters. But the levity in your writing was brilliant and I did chuckle a little, forgive me my friend but it’s your talent’s fault. Hugs.

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  3. Oh my goodness! I hope this gets better and fast. This is the worst possible place to be hurting.

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  4. Wishing you a quickly better butt!

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  5. Poor Tess! If you don’t feel better soon, you should see your doctor and get to the bottom of this problem, no buts about it!
    Actually, I sit way too much with my blogging and writing in positions that are not good for me, and sometimes end up with muscle pain. I did go see my doc when I had a terrible pain in the neck (and shoulders), and I got some exercises that really helped. I hope you feel better soon!

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    • Thank you, Naomi. I finally remembered my desk chair in the other room and it helps. Am improving by the day.

      Sitting chained to my keyboard is indeed the culprit. If only I didn’t keep putting off getting up once in a while… 😉

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  6. So serious and I hope you’ll feel comfortable sitting again real soon… so fuunnnny.LOL! 🙂

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  7. You’re not falling apart, you’re just a very tender princess and the pea.

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  8. A broken butt can be very serious! I mean, it’s right in the middle of your body! If your butt is broken, your legs tend to not want to work, either. I hope you are better and able to use your butt normally again.

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  9. Oh ya poor love, I have empathy – my old bones and muscles ain’t what they use to be either sadly 😦 I promised I didn’t giggle (okay I lied) nothing worse than a broken bum – can I say that here? 😉 Though one wouldn’t think it could break- sitting for long periods of time yes I have the same problem, sore shoulders, neck… ech I’ll stop whinging – you’re not falling apart – nothing that a few replacements of glue can’t handle – take care and heal quickly! x

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  10. You have me giggling! I swear, I am only starting to notice the changes! I’ve always balked at older people when they complain of the weather but now creakkkk. Did you get a new comfie chair? You deserve it because you make a lot of bloggers happy!

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    • You are so sweet. Thank you. I had a steno chair by my desk, which I should have rolled into the dining-room. My brain wasn’t working that day, I guess. My own dark fault this happened. I’ll know better next time but will probably screw something else up. *blushes*

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  11. Is this what I have to look forward to? Oh my my. Now I know why the dog moves around all day to new sleeping places–doesn’t want broken… body parts…

    Did your husband pitch in–cook dinner, do laundry, clean–in your infirmity?

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    • Sorry to say, no husband; I do have a cat though and she worries about me. Thank you for asking, Jacqui. 😀

      I am improving and will remember that my steno chair should have been the answer not a card chair. Why didn’t I roll it into the dining-room? Sheesh

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  12. Omg, you are too much! I HEAR YOU! In fact I just wrote a post (to be posted this weekend) on my venture to the Osteopath who had declared my locked up hips due to sitting on my rear for months writing. I know it’s no joke, I’m crippled! After so many hours, I really don’t know if there is a comfortable chair for us Tess 🙂 I feel your pain. xo

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  13. Funny how something as innocuous as sitting could cause such pain, but our bodies are finely tune. And they seem to get more finely tuned as we get older!!
    You are brave to take on a 5K workout. Our bodies are meant to move – glad that it seemed to help.

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    • Thank YOU, Clanmother. I guess it’s time I remember I’m not twenty anymore. 😉

      The walk might have loosened pain. My butt went numb after a while anyway. Ha ha. The next day, I paid for it but am getting better today.

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  14. Bwahahahaha….oops…sorry!

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  15. Tess, maybe it’s time for you to consider a ‘kneeling stool’. Gill has sworn by them for years (as a result of her arthritis) and even demanded her employer provide her with one! Don’t know if it might help, but I’ll bet that’s a suggestion nobody else has made. Best to you. Laurie

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    • Nice to see you, Laurie. I’ve never heard of a kneeling stool. I must look that up to kill my curiosity.

      Can’t kneel. Sorry, but I appreciate the suggestion. Maybe I’ll try Hemingway’s style of standing naked to write. 😉 No, better not scare the cat.

      The nuisance is slowly getting better and I’ll take better care of myself from now on. Have to stop taking everything for granted…

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  16. My butt is screaming that I should get off it and go walk around for a bit, but wait, I have to finish reading this post and then will tool around your site for a bit, which means more butting into your business when I should be minding my own. BTW, I found you through Jacqui Murray’s Word Dreams. Love your acerbic wit.

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  17. I feel so bad for you. It is a bit funny, but pain is a serious thing if it can’t be resolved. I just had a birthday yesterday and am none too happy to hear of your woes and what I might have to look forward too. I am waking every morning with so much pain in my shoulders that I am seriously considering the temper-pedic mattress now.I have nice supportive desk chair at my PC, but have been wanting a laptop. Maybe that wouldn’t be the best idea for me, since I am such a slouch over the computer desk

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  18. I never sit for more than an hour. It’s a carry over from my years with a herniated disk. Sorry to hear your body let you know you went too far over the 1 hour mark. Eek.

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    • I’m my own worst enemy. I can’t stop when I’m in the middle of something. Anyway, I should have rolled my desk chair in to the dining-room.

      I’ll try to take your good advice. Thank you for coming by and sharing. 😉

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  19. Tess – I adore your writing. Honestly I believe you could lead me anywhere. I already knew you had the adventurous spirit of a twenty-something. This is the first year I’ve had to take my own health seriously and I’ve gone kicking and screaming all the way. Your spunk is always something I strive for.

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  20. I won’t say that you are a pain in the… Well, I mean after hearing that joke a few hundred times it becomes incredibly boring. The main thing is that your derriere is getting back to normal now so it is out with the card chair and in with something better. Perhaps lounging on the bed will be a good idea, and with laptop fully charged and ready for action it should be a whole new ball game 🙂

    Andro xxxx

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    • Thanks so much, Andro. It’s my own darn fault. Why didn’t I get my desk chair (a steno) and roll it into the dining room? I have since and now I shake my head.

      Say, I never thought of lazing around in bed with my laptop. What a lovely idea! It’s not as if I haven’t seen or heard of anyone doing that.

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  21. I hope you are feeling better. Something soft to sit on might help… 🙂

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  22. Oh no! I threw myself backwards on a metal futon frame last year and bruised my butt bone– worst thing ever! Our butt gets used far more than we think. I hope you feel better soon!

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  23. I would never laugh at your broken hynee, honest. 😉

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  24. I’m not laughing because I’ve been suffering lately too. It sounds like you have sciatica like me. Recently its been in my left butt cheek, running pain down my left leg but then it moves back and forth to my lower back on the right side. Then two days ago my neck started and I can’t turn my head smoothly at the mo!

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    • Sorry to hear you’re being hit all at once. Hope a correction happens soon.

      Oh yes. A few years ago I didn’t know what sciatica was and after putting up with the pain for a couple of weeks, I went to my doctor. She asked, “What do you want me to do about it?” She then explained if it wasn’t gone in a month to see her again. I didn’t bother. What do you do for your pain?

      The time, I know it’s my fault. How silly I didn’t roll my steno chair into the dining-room instead of sitting on a card chair.

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  25. All the things they never tell you about aging! I’m just glad I’m not the only one creaking at the joints 🙂
    Wishing you a speedy recovery.

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  26. Sorry, I’m late at posting, but had to stop giggling. Also sorry to hear about your tail tale, I hope it has a happy ending.

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  27. Hey Tess,
    Just passing by to say hi. I send you a virtual hug. Hope all is well with you.
    R

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  28. Poor you! I hope your bum is feeling a little better. Posture is so important in our game. I suffer from RSI from time to time. Can be agony. What we do for our art! 🙂

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  29. Ouch, so sorry Tess! I know how painful this is as I’ve had the same thing and was told it was a form of sciatica which goes through the butt muscle called the periformis and it can be agony. Mine went down my right leg and it ached like crazy.

    It does go away over time, you’ve got the right idea of loosening things up with walking. Here’s a strange thing though, I used to do Pilates to help me with problems like this, but I started to get this sciatica more and more. I have now quit Pilates and guess what, I haven’t had it for some time now! Go figure!

    Get well soon 🙂

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    • Pilates: must be too much pressure on sensitive muscles.

      Now I’ve lots of numbness and can’t sit for long. I love my easy boy chair though because I can lean back and take some of the pressure off. Can’t type in that position though, and I want to scream because I’m wasting time.

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  30. You are indeed blessed. To be able to think that you are twenty. I suppose salvation commences with a great positive mental image of our own selves. Not only does this support a curious mind but also aligns the mental positivity to balance out physical challenges like the ones you experienced recently.

    So in short, you are on the right track young lady!

    Shakti

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  31. Thinking of you, Tess! I had an injury (pulled my hamstring) and it was so painful to the point that nothing was comfortable. Maybe you should get a deep tissue massage to help?

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  32. You are so beautiful – of spirit – I can only hope you have better butt soon.
    Say that three times – better butt, better butt, better butt. Oh well, enjoy always, T

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  33. Oh no, the delicate butt area! That’s awful – no way am I laughing! Maybe you should get one of those cushions with a hole in it? So I take it it doesn’t help to have a well padded butt? Pity…

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  34. Oh my, I have suffered the same ‘computer butt’, not as serious as yours but achy braky hurty…ouch. I have been desperate enough to stand and type, don’t try it, doesn’t work. Like your writing style and blog and thanks for the ‘like’ over my place 🙂

    Like

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