How the Cookie Crumbles

Life in the fast and slow lanes after SIXTY-FIVE

Flash in the Pan – Lunatic

58 Comments


“Get off the Road!” The engorged veins in Eddy’s neck appeared ready to burst. Rain splattered the car windows. Whoosh. Whoosh. The wipers slogged back and forth.

“What’s he doing in the middle of the road? Stop. Maybe we can help.”

“We’ll be late, Pam. You wanna be late because of some lunatic?”

“Maybe it’s important.”

“He’s going to cause an accident or become one.” No visible traffic, Eddie coasted closer. He down-buttoned the window. Rain drenched face and hair in an instant. “Hey, buddy. Off. The. Road.” The downpour drowned him out.

morgueFile free photos

morgueFile free photos

Marlene pushed out of the car towards the figure palming asphalt. She knelt on the soaked blacktop and grabbed his shoulder, new coif flattened and drenched despite her umbrella. “Can. I. Help?”

Streaming blood-red eyes and unshaven face stared back. He shrugged.

“What?”

“I. Lost. Her. Ring…”

Marlene blinked. “Whose?”

“My wife’s…died last night…my pinkie…smoking…opened car window…”

~ * ~

This is the new Fall Quarter of Flash in the Pan. The theme is Disturbed.

The word limit for Lunatic is 150 words. I used them all.

Check how to join:  http://mommasmoneymatters.com/flash-fiction/

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Author: Let's CUT the Crap!

I'm getting a little LONG in the tooth and have things to say about---ouch---AGEing. I believe it's certainly a state of mind but sometimes it's nice to hear that you're NORMAL. I enjoy reading by the truckload. I'm a grandma but I don't feel OLD although I'm not so young anymore. My plan is to stick it out as long as I can on this lovely planet and only will leave it kicking and screaming!

58 thoughts on “Flash in the Pan – Lunatic

  1. Oh, that’s so sad. 😦

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  2. I felt that emotion. Wow.

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  3. Yes, disturbed. You did that by catching a very horrific moment.

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  4. Well done, Tess. SO compelling. I had to go back and read it twice.

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  5. Panic and emotional pain in that moment in time. Well done.

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  6. Oh Tess I can imagine that happening and the desperate emotion with it, very sad but very well doe.

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  7. great imagery, I like the idea of wipers slogging back and forth…

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  8. Good heavens, what a twist! Very descriptive, Ms. Tess.

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  9. It is very sad. But very uplifting that someone wanted to help, someone saw a need more important than their rush. So wonderful.

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  10. Wow! Emotion. Powerful. Tragic. I am so there in the rain, on the road, the sound of the wipers slogging behind me (love that) and trying to help that man lying there, helpless…phew Tess, you sure know how to grab us. Incredible.

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  11. You never cease to amaze me. I’d be crying and panicking too!

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  12. Oh man Tess!!
    Beautiful imagery. Made me sad…

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  13. Great ending. It goes to show that you can’t judge a situation merely based on it’s appearance.

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  14. As I was anticipating violence, sadness came instead.

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  15. Ooh, gut wrenching! It is remarkable how the minor mishap serves to bring the tragedy home.
    Brilliant, Tess!

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  16. I agree with the others, Tess. A sad one, this!
    These tales can amaze us in the directions they veer at times, can’t they? I really must start writing them again…

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  17. Ouch. This was a good twisted tale Tess.

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  18. I have nominated you for the Liebster Award. This piece is just brilliant
    I will be posting the nominees about 9.30pm Australia time. http://www.randomrose.wordpress.com

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    • Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.You are too kind. Thank you. Thank you, but…
      I’ll have to put it on my FRONT page instead of only on my Razzle Dazzle page / vault.
      I stopped accepting awards as I can’t chose specific people to forward to and share with. As well, by the time I get around to fulfilling my duties, half a year passes. Last time it was a year…

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  19. Oh the poor man. I could feel the rain and his pain. Nicely done.

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  20. very sad but well done using all those words.

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  21. Sad. Thanks for sharing all the same

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  22. Strong, Tess, and unexpected.

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  23. Cut, What a wonderful story, and like so many before I was quite surprised by the ending, I was heartbroken and joyful at the same time. Thank you, take care, Bill

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Some things in life are complicated. Let's keep it simple.

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