“Get off the Road!” The engorged veins in Eddy’s neck appeared ready to burst. Rain splattered the car windows. Whoosh. Whoosh. The wipers slogged back and forth.
“What’s he doing in the middle of the road? Stop. Maybe we can help.”
“We’ll be late, Pam. You wanna be late because of some lunatic?”
“Maybe it’s important.”
“He’s going to cause an accident or become one.” No visible traffic, Eddie coasted closer. He down-buttoned the window. Rain drenched face and hair in an instant. “Hey, buddy. Off. The. Road.” The downpour drowned him out.
Marlene pushed out of the car towards the figure palming asphalt. She knelt on the soaked blacktop and grabbed his shoulder, new coif flattened and drenched despite her umbrella. “Can. I. Help?”
Streaming blood-red eyes and unshaven face stared back. He shrugged.
“What?”
“I. Lost. Her. Ring…”
Marlene blinked. “Whose?”
“My wife’s…died last night…my pinkie…smoking…opened car window…”
~ * ~
This is the new Fall Quarter of Flash in the Pan. The theme is Disturbed.
The word limit for Lunatic is 150 words. I used them all.
Check how to join: http://mommasmoneymatters.com/flash-fiction/
December 3, 2013 at 7:47 pm
Oh, that’s so sad. 😦
LikeLike
December 3, 2013 at 9:27 pm
I had no idea the story would go there. Odd, as sometimes happens and surprises me.
Thank you, Carrie, for your comment.
LikeLike
December 3, 2013 at 8:43 pm
Powerful
LikeLike
December 3, 2013 at 9:25 pm
I’m pleased you think so. Thank you.
LikeLike
December 3, 2013 at 9:34 pm
Oh, that’s sad, Tess.
LikeLike
December 3, 2013 at 10:10 pm
Thanks, Jacqui. I didn’t mean for it to go that way…
LikeLike
December 3, 2013 at 9:38 pm
Oh Tess, sad and very effective.
LikeLike
December 3, 2013 at 10:09 pm
Sad is not good but effective is GREAT. Thank YOU.
LikeLike
December 3, 2013 at 10:22 pm
I felt that emotion. Wow.
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 7:43 am
Thank YOU for the positive response. Glad you enjoyed reading this.
LikeLike
December 3, 2013 at 10:47 pm
Yes, disturbed. You did that by catching a very horrific moment.
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 7:42 am
Thank you, Rebecca. Haven’t seen you around lately. See, I notice. 😉
LikeLike
December 3, 2013 at 11:34 pm
Well done, Tess. SO compelling. I had to go back and read it twice.
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 7:42 am
Thank you, Naomi. She are sweet.
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 12:31 am
Panic and emotional pain in that moment in time. Well done.
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 7:39 am
Thanks so much, skn. Glad you like this.
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 1:44 am
Oh Tess I can imagine that happening and the desperate emotion with it, very sad but very well doe.
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 7:37 am
Thank you, Gilly. Glad this one met the mark.
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 2:35 am
great imagery, I like the idea of wipers slogging back and forth…
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 7:35 am
Thanks so much, Andrew. You make me smile.
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 3:29 am
Good heavens, what a twist! Very descriptive, Ms. Tess.
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 7:34 am
Thank YOU. SSM. Glad you enjoy reading.
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 5:52 am
It is very sad. But very uplifting that someone wanted to help, someone saw a need more important than their rush. So wonderful.
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 7:33 am
Thank you, Colleen. Leave it to you to see the good of people.
😉
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 7:21 pm
Ohhhhhh Pooh Bear! 🙂
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 8:31 pm
🙂
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 6:24 am
Wow! Emotion. Powerful. Tragic. I am so there in the rain, on the road, the sound of the wipers slogging behind me (love that) and trying to help that man lying there, helpless…phew Tess, you sure know how to grab us. Incredible.
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 7:32 am
Thank you Sherri. I’m pleased you enjoyed reading this one.
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 1:02 pm
Fantastic 🙂
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 3:42 pm
😛
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 10:42 am
You never cease to amaze me. I’d be crying and panicking too!
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 3:55 pm
Thanks so much, Cee, for commenting and reading.
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 11:51 am
Oh man Tess!!
Beautiful imagery. Made me sad…
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 3:44 pm
Yeah, it’s sad, but sad happens in life right? Sorry.
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 12:22 pm
Great ending. It goes to show that you can’t judge a situation merely based on it’s appearance.
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 3:44 pm
Thanks so much for reading and commenting.
True. Outward appearance don’t tell it all. 🙂
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 3:56 pm
As I was anticipating violence, sadness came instead.
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 4:03 pm
Hope you found that better, although sadness hurts.
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 4:04 pm
Agreeably better.
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 8:50 pm
Thank you. 🙂
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 4:03 pm
Ooh, gut wrenching! It is remarkable how the minor mishap serves to bring the tragedy home.
Brilliant, Tess!
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 4:05 pm
Thank so much, Delft, for your positive comment.
I never know exactly where the story will end up. 🙂
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 4:17 pm
I agree with the others, Tess. A sad one, this!
These tales can amaze us in the directions they veer at times, can’t they? I really must start writing them again…
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 8:49 pm
Welcome back, Tom. 🙂
LikeLike
December 4, 2013 at 10:48 pm
Ouch. This was a good twisted tale Tess.
LikeLike
December 5, 2013 at 8:27 pm
Thank YOU, Val. The second half came out of the blue but I thought, why not? 😀 Could happen.
LikeLike
December 5, 2013 at 4:41 am
I have nominated you for the Liebster Award. This piece is just brilliant
I will be posting the nominees about 9.30pm Australia time. http://www.randomrose.wordpress.com
LikeLike
December 5, 2013 at 8:17 pm
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.You are too kind. Thank you. Thank you, but…
I’ll have to put it on my FRONT page instead of only on my Razzle Dazzle page / vault.
I stopped accepting awards as I can’t chose specific people to forward to and share with. As well, by the time I get around to fulfilling my duties, half a year passes. Last time it was a year…
LikeLike
December 5, 2013 at 6:08 am
Oh the poor man. I could feel the rain and his pain. Nicely done.
LikeLike
December 5, 2013 at 8:12 pm
Thanks sooo much.
LikeLike
December 5, 2013 at 12:11 pm
very sad but well done using all those words.
LikeLike
December 5, 2013 at 5:07 pm
Thanks so much. You are most kind. 😉
LikeLike
December 6, 2013 at 6:00 am
Sad. Thanks for sharing all the same
LikeLike
December 6, 2013 at 8:11 pm
I have no idea this would turn out sad. Thanks for reading and commenting. 🙂
LikeLike
December 9, 2013 at 4:38 pm
Strong, Tess, and unexpected.
LikeLike
December 10, 2013 at 5:58 pm
Thanks, Len. Appreciate your support. 🙂
LikeLike
December 21, 2013 at 2:38 pm
Cut, What a wonderful story, and like so many before I was quite surprised by the ending, I was heartbroken and joyful at the same time. Thank you, take care, Bill
LikeLike
December 22, 2013 at 7:52 pm
Thank you Bill. You are easy to please then. Bless your heart. Anyway, you’ve made my day. 😛
LikeLike