“Get off the Road!” The engorged veins in Eddy’s neck appeared ready to burst. Rain splattered the car windows. Whoosh. Whoosh. The wipers slogged back and forth.
“What’s he doing in the middle of the road? Stop. Maybe we can help.”
“We’ll be late, Pam. You wanna be late because of some lunatic?”
“Maybe it’s important.”
“He’s going to cause an accident or become one.” No visible traffic, Eddie coasted closer. He down-buttoned the window. Rain drenched face and hair in an instant. “Hey, buddy. Off. The. Road.” The downpour drowned him out.
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Marlene pushed out of the car towards the figure palming asphalt. She knelt on the soaked blacktop and grabbed his shoulder, new coif flattened and drenched despite her umbrella. “Can. I. Help?”
Streaming blood-red eyes and unshaven face stared back. He shrugged.
“What?”
“I. Lost. Her. Ring…”
Marlene blinked. “Whose?”
“My wife’s…died last night…my pinkie…smoking…opened car window…”
~ * ~
This is the new Fall Quarter of Flash in the Pan. The theme is Disturbed.
The word limit for Lunatic is 150 words. I used them all.
Check how to join: http://mommasmoneymatters.com/flash-fiction/
How the Cookie Crumbles 
December 3, 2013 at 7:47 pm
Oh, that’s so sad. 😦
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December 3, 2013 at 9:27 pm
I had no idea the story would go there. Odd, as sometimes happens and surprises me.
Thank you, Carrie, for your comment.
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December 3, 2013 at 8:43 pm
Powerful
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December 3, 2013 at 9:25 pm
I’m pleased you think so. Thank you.
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December 3, 2013 at 9:34 pm
Oh, that’s sad, Tess.
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December 3, 2013 at 10:10 pm
Thanks, Jacqui. I didn’t mean for it to go that way…
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December 3, 2013 at 9:38 pm
Oh Tess, sad and very effective.
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December 3, 2013 at 10:09 pm
Sad is not good but effective is GREAT. Thank YOU.
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December 3, 2013 at 10:22 pm
I felt that emotion. Wow.
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December 4, 2013 at 7:43 am
Thank YOU for the positive response. Glad you enjoyed reading this.
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December 3, 2013 at 10:47 pm
Yes, disturbed. You did that by catching a very horrific moment.
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December 4, 2013 at 7:42 am
Thank you, Rebecca. Haven’t seen you around lately. See, I notice. 😉
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December 3, 2013 at 11:34 pm
Well done, Tess. SO compelling. I had to go back and read it twice.
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December 4, 2013 at 7:42 am
Thank you, Naomi. She are sweet.
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December 4, 2013 at 12:31 am
Panic and emotional pain in that moment in time. Well done.
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December 4, 2013 at 7:39 am
Thanks so much, skn. Glad you like this.
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December 4, 2013 at 1:44 am
Oh Tess I can imagine that happening and the desperate emotion with it, very sad but very well doe.
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December 4, 2013 at 7:37 am
Thank you, Gilly. Glad this one met the mark.
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December 4, 2013 at 2:35 am
great imagery, I like the idea of wipers slogging back and forth…
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December 4, 2013 at 7:35 am
Thanks so much, Andrew. You make me smile.
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December 4, 2013 at 3:29 am
Good heavens, what a twist! Very descriptive, Ms. Tess.
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December 4, 2013 at 7:34 am
Thank YOU. SSM. Glad you enjoy reading.
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December 4, 2013 at 5:52 am
It is very sad. But very uplifting that someone wanted to help, someone saw a need more important than their rush. So wonderful.
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December 4, 2013 at 7:33 am
Thank you, Colleen. Leave it to you to see the good of people.
😉
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December 4, 2013 at 7:21 pm
Ohhhhhh Pooh Bear! 🙂
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December 4, 2013 at 8:31 pm
🙂
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December 4, 2013 at 6:24 am
Wow! Emotion. Powerful. Tragic. I am so there in the rain, on the road, the sound of the wipers slogging behind me (love that) and trying to help that man lying there, helpless…phew Tess, you sure know how to grab us. Incredible.
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December 4, 2013 at 7:32 am
Thank you Sherri. I’m pleased you enjoyed reading this one.
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December 4, 2013 at 1:02 pm
Fantastic 🙂
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December 4, 2013 at 3:42 pm
😛
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December 4, 2013 at 10:42 am
You never cease to amaze me. I’d be crying and panicking too!
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December 4, 2013 at 3:55 pm
Thanks so much, Cee, for commenting and reading.
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December 4, 2013 at 11:51 am
Oh man Tess!!
Beautiful imagery. Made me sad…
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December 4, 2013 at 3:44 pm
Yeah, it’s sad, but sad happens in life right? Sorry.
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December 4, 2013 at 12:22 pm
Great ending. It goes to show that you can’t judge a situation merely based on it’s appearance.
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December 4, 2013 at 3:44 pm
Thanks so much for reading and commenting.
True. Outward appearance don’t tell it all. 🙂
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December 4, 2013 at 3:56 pm
As I was anticipating violence, sadness came instead.
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December 4, 2013 at 4:03 pm
Hope you found that better, although sadness hurts.
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December 4, 2013 at 4:04 pm
Agreeably better.
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December 4, 2013 at 8:50 pm
Thank you. 🙂
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December 4, 2013 at 4:03 pm
Ooh, gut wrenching! It is remarkable how the minor mishap serves to bring the tragedy home.
Brilliant, Tess!
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December 4, 2013 at 4:05 pm
Thank so much, Delft, for your positive comment.
I never know exactly where the story will end up. 🙂
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December 4, 2013 at 4:17 pm
I agree with the others, Tess. A sad one, this!
These tales can amaze us in the directions they veer at times, can’t they? I really must start writing them again…
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December 4, 2013 at 8:49 pm
Welcome back, Tom. 🙂
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December 4, 2013 at 10:48 pm
Ouch. This was a good twisted tale Tess.
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December 5, 2013 at 8:27 pm
Thank YOU, Val. The second half came out of the blue but I thought, why not? 😀 Could happen.
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December 5, 2013 at 4:41 am
I have nominated you for the Liebster Award. This piece is just brilliant
I will be posting the nominees about 9.30pm Australia time. http://www.randomrose.wordpress.com
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December 5, 2013 at 8:17 pm
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.You are too kind. Thank you. Thank you, but…
I’ll have to put it on my FRONT page instead of only on my Razzle Dazzle page / vault.
I stopped accepting awards as I can’t chose specific people to forward to and share with. As well, by the time I get around to fulfilling my duties, half a year passes. Last time it was a year…
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December 5, 2013 at 6:08 am
Oh the poor man. I could feel the rain and his pain. Nicely done.
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December 5, 2013 at 8:12 pm
Thanks sooo much.
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December 5, 2013 at 12:11 pm
very sad but well done using all those words.
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December 5, 2013 at 5:07 pm
Thanks so much. You are most kind. 😉
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December 6, 2013 at 6:00 am
Sad. Thanks for sharing all the same
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December 6, 2013 at 8:11 pm
I have no idea this would turn out sad. Thanks for reading and commenting. 🙂
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December 9, 2013 at 4:38 pm
Strong, Tess, and unexpected.
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December 10, 2013 at 5:58 pm
Thanks, Len. Appreciate your support. 🙂
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December 21, 2013 at 2:38 pm
Cut, What a wonderful story, and like so many before I was quite surprised by the ending, I was heartbroken and joyful at the same time. Thank you, take care, Bill
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December 22, 2013 at 7:52 pm
Thank you Bill. You are easy to please then. Bless your heart. Anyway, you’ve made my day. 😛
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