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http://jfb57.wordpress.com/2014/08/05/100-word-challenge-for-grown-ups-week143/
This week’s prompt: …the parched ground crumbled…+ 100 words
HOME AT LAST
Ivy wrenched the wheel as hard as she could; the car swerved. Angry gravel scattered and pelted the hubcaps. She panted and wheezed, and coasted to a stop. The old red house of her youth had endured. Home at last. Relieved tears obscured her view.
Hands shaking, she heaved her age-worn bones out of the car, grasped her cane and hobbled to the backyard. The parched ground crumbled beneath her feet. Ancient and useless as me, I see.
Cr-r-ruck. A raven carped. Ugly birds endured too.
I’d much rather die here alone than in that stinking nursing home. No-one will think to look here.
August 5, 2014 at 7:31 pm
Incredible short story! How so many would prefer to die at home (even an old deserted one) than at an institution. Unfortunately not many can drive at that stage. Good writing.
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August 6, 2014 at 8:09 am
Probably the drive almost killed her. Now I wonder where she got the car…
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August 5, 2014 at 7:47 pm
You bring up a lot of emotions with so few words. Well done!
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August 6, 2014 at 8:10 am
Thank YOU grannyK. I appreciate your kind words.
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August 5, 2014 at 10:12 pm
Tess I agree with grannyK you are able to evoke such emotion so quickly. I feel like I need to come up with new descriptors for your skill. ‘Angy gravel’ ‘ugly birds’…I can see it clear as a bell. Great work!
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August 6, 2014 at 8:13 am
Thanks, Sue. You are generous in your encouragement and I do appreciate it. 🙂 ❤
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August 6, 2014 at 8:24 am
You are most welcome. A pleasure. 🙂
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August 6, 2014 at 3:01 pm
❤ ❤
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August 5, 2014 at 10:36 pm
I love how you always put a twist at the end. Another wonderful 100 Words.
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August 6, 2014 at 8:14 am
Thank you, Jacqui. I’m always afraid I will fail to complete the challenge. That publish button is a scary one. 😉
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August 5, 2014 at 11:19 pm
Ah, sad.
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August 6, 2014 at 8:14 am
Sorry…. ❤ ❤
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August 6, 2014 at 1:38 am
Gone on ya Ivy, I’m with you all the way – which means I’m totally engaged with your story!
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August 6, 2014 at 3:58 am
I know how she feels.. 😉
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August 6, 2014 at 4:39 am
If you had been my English teacher at school, I would have loved English! You can spin such magical stories with words.
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August 6, 2014 at 5:42 am
I admire Ivy. I hope she lives out a very long life at that home. I will imagine the home welcoming her and surprisingly taking very good care of her. Whether anyone lives there or not. 😉 Great job Tess!
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August 6, 2014 at 8:10 am
Love this bit, “The parched ground crumbled beneath her feet. Ancient and useless as me, I see. ” A powerful story in only 100 words. I certainly agree with the sentiment.
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August 6, 2014 at 2:57 pm
Thanks so much, kathils. You comment means a lot to me. ❤
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August 6, 2014 at 10:29 am
I can never guess what twist you’re going to insert. I know one is coming, but don’t know what exactly. I love that
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August 6, 2014 at 3:05 pm
Thank you TBM. I don’t always know either but I want it to sound authentic. You’ve put a smile on ME today. ❤
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August 6, 2014 at 2:48 pm
Determined to the end. Nice one, Tess.
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August 6, 2014 at 3:20 pm
Thanks, Tom. I appreciate your comment. 😉
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August 6, 2014 at 5:32 pm
I am with Ivy!
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August 6, 2014 at 6:31 pm
Me too!
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August 6, 2014 at 6:31 pm
😉 xx
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August 6, 2014 at 8:30 pm
Awesome.
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August 6, 2014 at 9:19 pm
Good one, Tess! Chatter Master said my take better than I could!
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August 7, 2014 at 10:48 am
I like both. You each told it like it is but she sounded a bit more sarcastic.
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August 7, 2014 at 3:47 pm
Phewph! No sarcasm from me – I just went back and reread it – what a splendid evocation of vocabulary – you create in a short, terse sentence an instant tapestry of a life.
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August 8, 2014 at 10:02 am
I’ve done it again. You know what, Huntie, my previous comment is about something else. I really must slow down.
Thank you for your kind words. They mean a lot to me.<3
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August 7, 2014 at 4:53 am
How nice it would be to die when we want and where we want. Let’s hope she’s not found and she can end her days her way. Another good 100 worder Tess. xx
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August 7, 2014 at 10:52 am
Thanks so much, Jen. I wish that for anyone who wants that.
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August 7, 2014 at 9:01 pm
A short but powerful story! Loved it. I’m cheering for Ivy.
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August 8, 2014 at 10:15 am
Thank YOU for reading and commenting. Ivy’s found lots of support here. Feisty, isn’t she? 🙂
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August 7, 2014 at 9:23 pm
A very touching story summed up in a few words. The metaphor of age was strong and the story was touching. 🙂
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August 8, 2014 at 10:16 am
Thanks, dear Debby. ❤
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August 7, 2014 at 9:56 pm
Tess, you just get better and better. This is so good.
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August 8, 2014 at 10:17 am
I’m pleased you like it, Val. Really pleased. Thank you. ❤
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August 8, 2014 at 10:16 am
Stunning short story Tess, poignant…
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August 8, 2014 at 10:30 am
Thank you. Thank you for reading and commenting. ❤
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August 10, 2014 at 6:57 pm
aahhhh…I know several who would gladly go home instead of being in the home. Lovely take on the prompt! 🙂
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August 11, 2014 at 9:33 am
Thanks so much! ❤
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August 10, 2014 at 7:21 pm
Tess, how is that you manage to blow apart every story with every element required in a complete novel. You leave me in awe with your continuing ability to layer in the sensory stimulus, add the emotion and finally the action. This short story portrays the very image of what many of us prefer.
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August 11, 2014 at 9:40 am
Thank you, Sheri. Again you are most generous in your comments. Maybe this comes across because it’s a universal feeling or my inner passion shows how I would feel in a similar situation. ❤ ❤ ❤
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August 11, 2014 at 10:53 am
You and be both, Tess. Have a wonderful Monday!
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August 11, 2014 at 4:35 pm
😀 😀 ❤
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August 23, 2014 at 7:25 am
You put a short movie in my head, complete with sound track recording. I heard and saw the gravel crunch, the nasty birds – harbingers of death, overhead. I saw the old lady hobbling determinedly to the house. I felt her sense of purpose. Super job!
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August 23, 2014 at 1:19 pm
You are one generous lady. Thank you, Kate, for you kind words.
❤
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November 2, 2014 at 5:24 pm
Oh, this is strong. And cruel.
You really pack a punch in 100 words!
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November 3, 2014 at 1:56 pm
Thank YOU, K. I appreciate your thoughtful remarks. ❤ ❤
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