How the Cookie Crumbles

An irreverant view of life after SIXTY-FIVE

One Clear Day

62 Comments


“Might you slow down, I’m nervous rushing in this weather.” Jane hiccupped and hugged herself. “We’ve already had one dreadful start to the summer.”

Billie gunned the accelerator. The Dodge van lurched over the line. Whoosh the wipers dashed stubborn rain aside. Bloated, slate-gray clouds gushed water like a busted dam.

“What’s the matter, don’t you trust my driving?” Billie lifted an over-plucked eyebrow as she glanced at her friend. “Should have been there twenty minutes ago. We’re late.”

Jane tucked whispy hair behind her ear and didn’t respond at first. “At least the traffic’s light. I’d rather be late than dead.”

“Why the hell did her husband buy her that motorcycle?” Jane stared through the sluicing windshield and bit her lip.

Thank you Microsoft Clipart

Thank you Microsoft Clipart

“Yeah, only one ride and gone at fifty-three. My God! Two young adults, motherless. Life’s unfair. I can’t imagine how her husband feels.” Billie’s tears slid down her creased cheeks.

Silence sank like a sodden blanket between the two sixty-something women. The driver gripped the steering wheel. Silver-streaked, once black hair stuck to her forehead. Eyes intent behind thick glasses, she frowned at the deluge. Although the wipers were in high gear, the windows fogged up. Billie cranked on the defogger and let up on the accelerator. The slosh of tires on the wet asphalt changed rhythm and slackened to a softer splatter.

“I hate funerals, especially this one, not that I’ve been to many.” Billie cleared her throat. “Sue was always there for me, you know. I ran away from home—before I met you? Sue’s family took me in and Mom was madder than a dragon spewing fire. We didn’t know them well then.”

Jane closed her eyes and nodded. Sitting straighter, she breathed deep and hard.  “How did this happen? The road was dry and the day clear.” Chin to chest, she sighed. “Sue was such a live-wire. Into everything—how long did you live with them again?” She massaged white knuckles, first one hand and then the other.

“Almost six months. We were both twelve.” Billie hesitated. “We became tight as Siamese twins. Soon after I agreed to move back home, her father changed jobs. They packed up and moved to Vancouver. Even Mom was sad to see them leave.”

The rain slowed to a fine mist and the humidity dropped inside the van. Both women concentrated on the road. Jane pointed to the exit, “Turn right on Wellington here and then left on Riddell. “Geez, this lot is packed.” She leaned into the backseat to grab an umbrella.

Billie swallowed and blinked away threatening tears. “Can’t wait to get this over.” They snaked up and down three aisles before they spied a parking spot. “By the looks of it, the chapel will be standing room only. Lord give me strength.”

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Author: Let's CUT the Crap!

I'm getting a little LONG in the tooth and have things to say about---ouch---AGEing. I believe it's certainly a state of mind but sometimes it's nice to hear that you're NORMAL. I enjoy reading by the truckload. I'm a grandma but I don't feel OLD although I'm not so young anymore. My plan is to stick it out as long as I can on this lovely planet and only will leave it kicking and screaming!

62 thoughts on “One Clear Day

  1. There are certain lines that always ‘stick-out’ to a reader – Bloated, slate-gray clouds gushed water like a busted dam. – that caught my attention. You have a wonderful placement of words Tess and the imagery is so realistic. Enjoyed this story very much ~ thank you. x

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  2. You’ve managed to pack a lot of story into a few hundred words! I wish I hadn’t already experienced a few of that kind of car ride.

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  3. Well done imagery and great mood setting, Tess. xxx

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  4. Well that was just awesome. I want to read the book now. The imagery was perfect and really set the mood.

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  5. I also like the mood you set, but I would also like to see this extended.

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  6. Such great descriptions. You really set the scene. 🙂

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  7. By the time the ride is over you feel as though you know the women and you want to hold their hands.

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  8. Bloated clouds, love this. But even more, love the motherless young adults; there is something telling about this something ominous about the motorcycle.

    Loved this one, you packed it in.

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  9. Excellent short story. They are not easy to write.

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  10. As always Tess you create a scene and mood so quickly. ‘Silence sank like a sodden blanket’. I adore your writing. Well done!

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  11. As always, your writing hold readers like us in its spell. Absolutely wonderful piece.

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  12. I’m facing the funeral of my son’s father soon. I hope the weather will be better than this but the feelings will be the same I’m sure. Terrific writing Tess.

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    • Sorry about the funeral you will be attending, Julia. It’s not something any of us look forward to, no matter the circumstances. ❤
      I appreciate your reading and commenting. Thank you. Your kind words perk me up.

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  13. Tess it felt so real. I wanted to know more about Sue, and her two friends. I just know there’s more. Great job with creating feeling and presence.

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  14. Let’s Cut the Crap, wonderful written from setting the environment to the dialog. Thank you, I felt like I was in the back listening waiting for my opportunity to jump in. Take care, Bill

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  15. Great story, setting, characters, description everything. It’s raining outside, grey and dingy and suited the mood of your story so well but even if it had been shining bright, I would have still been in that same rain you so perfectly describe. Excellent story Tess 😀 ❤ 🙂

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  16. Love all the random thoughts. Funerals… sigh…

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  17. Tess – You come up with the best descriptions and conversations I’ve had the pleasure of reading. Your words sprout wings and fly from the page. The emotional elements you bring to us leave us breathless and begging for more. Sheri

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  18. Wow, intense and succinct as always Tess. 🙂

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  19. I especially love the bloated, slate-grey clouds. Great writing, as usual!

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  20. I love my friends, I hope they love me. Beautiful story!

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  21. Well written and poignant. Life is like this- unpredictable and sad at times.
    You have a wonderful way with words Tess.
    This feels like it could be part of a larger narrative as well.

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  22. Wow!! fabulous writing Tess!

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  23. “Silence sank like a sodden blanket…” great alliteration AND simile. A really good piece – I felt like I was in the car with the women.

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  24. “Silence sank like a sodden blanket” – lovely turn of phrase.
    I like it that you’re venturing into the “longer” territory, no matter how well you pack, some stories need more than 100 words. I like the slower pace and the obliquely emotional approach.

    My only quibble might be that rain for a funeral is perhaps a bit of a cliché?

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Some things in life are complicated. Let's keep it simple.

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