“Might you slow down, I’m nervous rushing in this weather.” Jane hiccupped and hugged herself. “We’ve already had one dreadful start to the summer.”
Billie gunned the accelerator. The Dodge van lurched over the line. Whoosh the wipers dashed stubborn rain aside. Bloated, slate-gray clouds gushed water like a busted dam.
“What’s the matter, don’t you trust my driving?” Billie lifted an over-plucked eyebrow as she glanced at her friend. “Should have been there twenty minutes ago. We’re late.”
Jane tucked whispy hair behind her ear and didn’t respond at first. “At least the traffic’s light. I’d rather be late than dead.”
“Why the hell did her husband buy her that motorcycle?” Jane stared through the sluicing windshield and bit her lip.
“Yeah, only one ride and gone at fifty-three. My God! Two young adults, motherless. Life’s unfair. I can’t imagine how her husband feels.” Billie’s tears slid down her creased cheeks.
Silence sank like a sodden blanket between the two sixty-something women. The driver gripped the steering wheel. Silver-streaked, once black hair stuck to her forehead. Eyes intent behind thick glasses, she frowned at the deluge. Although the wipers were in high gear, the windows fogged up. Billie cranked on the defogger and let up on the accelerator. The slosh of tires on the wet asphalt changed rhythm and slackened to a softer splatter.
“I hate funerals, especially this one, not that I’ve been to many.” Billie cleared her throat. “Sue was always there for me, you know. I ran away from home—before I met you? Sue’s family took me in and Mom was madder than a dragon spewing fire. We didn’t know them well then.”
Jane closed her eyes and nodded. Sitting straighter, she breathed deep and hard. “How did this happen? The road was dry and the day clear.” Chin to chest, she sighed. “Sue was such a live-wire. Into everything—how long did you live with them again?” She massaged white knuckles, first one hand and then the other.
“Almost six months. We were both twelve.” Billie hesitated. “We became tight as Siamese twins. Soon after I agreed to move back home, her father changed jobs. They packed up and moved to Vancouver. Even Mom was sad to see them leave.”
The rain slowed to a fine mist and the humidity dropped inside the van. Both women concentrated on the road. Jane pointed to the exit, “Turn right on Wellington here and then left on Riddell. “Geez, this lot is packed.” She leaned into the backseat to grab an umbrella.
Billie swallowed and blinked away threatening tears. “Can’t wait to get this over.” They snaked up and down three aisles before they spied a parking spot. “By the looks of it, the chapel will be standing room only. Lord give me strength.”
August 26, 2014 at 7:40 pm
There are certain lines that always ‘stick-out’ to a reader – Bloated, slate-gray clouds gushed water like a busted dam. – that caught my attention. You have a wonderful placement of words Tess and the imagery is so realistic. Enjoyed this story very much ~ thank you. x
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August 26, 2014 at 8:33 pm
Thanks so much, Jen. I’m pleased you enjoyed the story. You’ve made me smile. 🙂
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August 27, 2014 at 2:04 am
Well you have made me smile in the past- so it’s about my turn 🙂
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August 27, 2014 at 6:30 pm
You are s.w.e.e.t. Thank you for reading and taking the time to visit and comment. I DO appreciate you. ❤
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August 27, 2014 at 6:33 pm
and I appreciate you lovely one ❤ x
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August 27, 2014 at 7:14 pm
Oh goody. An exclusive mutual admiration society. 😀
:3 >3 >3
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August 26, 2014 at 9:01 pm
I agree–loved that line!: “Bloated, slate-gray clouds gushed water like a busted dam.”
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August 26, 2014 at 10:13 pm
Wow, Carrie. Thanks for you kind support. Your words lift me UP. ❤
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August 26, 2014 at 7:40 pm
You’ve managed to pack a lot of story into a few hundred words! I wish I hadn’t already experienced a few of that kind of car ride.
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August 26, 2014 at 8:34 pm
I hate traveling by car in heavy rain. Heck in anything., anywhere. I’m getting boring, me thinks. 🙂
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August 27, 2014 at 9:24 pm
I agree about the driving in rain. The windshield wipers make me really drowsy.
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August 28, 2014 at 10:43 am
They do and I don’t trust the other drivers who slosh by and drown your car. ❤
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August 26, 2014 at 9:00 pm
Well done imagery and great mood setting, Tess. xxx
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August 26, 2014 at 10:11 pm
Thank YOU, Red. Great to see you. I appreciate your kind words. ❤
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August 26, 2014 at 9:25 pm
Well that was just awesome. I want to read the book now. The imagery was perfect and really set the mood.
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August 26, 2014 at 10:14 pm
Thank YOU. High praise, my friend. I do appreciate your encouragement. Can you see my smile? ❤
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August 26, 2014 at 9:34 pm
I also like the mood you set, but I would also like to see this extended.
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August 26, 2014 at 10:15 pm
I’m pleased and encouraged that you are interested, Nancy. Thank YOU. 🙂
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August 26, 2014 at 9:43 pm
Such great descriptions. You really set the scene. 🙂
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August 26, 2014 at 10:21 pm
Gee, Paulette, thank YOU. I appreciate your generous and kind words. 😉
When might your next book come out? I look forward to it. ❤
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August 26, 2014 at 10:29 pm
By the time the ride is over you feel as though you know the women and you want to hold their hands.
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August 27, 2014 at 6:22 pm
Thank YOU, Rebecca. Awesome you feel that. You’ve made my day. ❤ ❤
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August 26, 2014 at 11:53 pm
Bloated clouds, love this. But even more, love the motherless young adults; there is something telling about this something ominous about the motorcycle.
Loved this one, you packed it in.
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August 27, 2014 at 6:26 pm
Thank you, Val. I try to stay away from sad or morbid but this one got me going. Thanks for the visit and your kind comments. ❤
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August 27, 2014 at 12:45 am
Excellent short story. They are not easy to write.
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August 27, 2014 at 6:27 pm
Thanks, Darlene. Lots of rewrites switching and deleting and changing my mind again.
Happy to hear you enjoyed the read and I appreciate the visit. ❤
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August 27, 2014 at 12:57 am
As always Tess you create a scene and mood so quickly. ‘Silence sank like a sodden blanket’. I adore your writing. Well done!
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August 27, 2014 at 6:28 pm
Sue, you are too generous but I’ll take it. Thank you for the visit and your kind words. ❤ ❤
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August 27, 2014 at 10:47 pm
You are most welcome. Well deserved!
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August 28, 2014 at 10:47 am
*blush*
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August 27, 2014 at 1:42 am
As always, your writing hold readers like us in its spell. Absolutely wonderful piece.
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August 27, 2014 at 6:29 pm
Thank YOU for visiting and reading. It helps to get feedback, especially when a piece hits the spot. ❤ ❤
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August 27, 2014 at 3:18 am
I’m facing the funeral of my son’s father soon. I hope the weather will be better than this but the feelings will be the same I’m sure. Terrific writing Tess.
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August 27, 2014 at 6:35 pm
Sorry about the funeral you will be attending, Julia. It’s not something any of us look forward to, no matter the circumstances. ❤
I appreciate your reading and commenting. Thank you. Your kind words perk me up.
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August 27, 2014 at 5:38 am
Tess it felt so real. I wanted to know more about Sue, and her two friends. I just know there’s more. Great job with creating feeling and presence.
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August 27, 2014 at 6:40 pm
Thank you, Colleen. You are a kind soul. Glad the’ feelings’ did their number. ❤ ❤ ❤
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August 28, 2014 at 6:01 am
Indeed they did. I bet they have some stories to tell about their friend!!
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August 28, 2014 at 10:49 am
Yes, I do believe so. 🙂
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August 28, 2014 at 8:55 pm
Maybe we’ll hear them some day….. 😉
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August 27, 2014 at 6:24 am
Let’s Cut the Crap, wonderful written from setting the environment to the dialog. Thank you, I felt like I was in the back listening waiting for my opportunity to jump in. Take care, Bill
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August 27, 2014 at 6:41 pm
Thank you kind Bill. You are always so generous in your words. I am more than pleased if you felt present. ❤
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August 27, 2014 at 8:32 am
Great story, setting, characters, description everything. It’s raining outside, grey and dingy and suited the mood of your story so well but even if it had been shining bright, I would have still been in that same rain you so perfectly describe. Excellent story Tess 😀 ❤ 🙂
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August 27, 2014 at 6:52 pm
Thanks, Sherri. Thanks bunches. These words from you are encouraging. ❤ ❤
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August 28, 2014 at 10:53 am
❤ times infinity 😉 😛 ❤
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August 28, 2014 at 11:08 am
You are a sweet and generous soul. Thank you and the same back at YOU. ❤ x forever
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August 28, 2014 at 12:17 pm
Feeling it…right back you my friend… ❤ galore… ❤
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August 27, 2014 at 11:22 am
Love all the random thoughts. Funerals… sigh…
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August 27, 2014 at 6:57 pm
Yeah. Funerals. Maybe the hardest for me are accidents and sudden deaths. ❤
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August 29, 2014 at 11:38 am
Yes–when their end-of-days arrives passively, I’m fine. I cry for myself. When life is yanked from them–much harder. I do believe there’s a purpose to everything, though that doesn’t insure everyone will be happy with the process.
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August 27, 2014 at 6:25 pm
Tess – You come up with the best descriptions and conversations I’ve had the pleasure of reading. Your words sprout wings and fly from the page. The emotional elements you bring to us leave us breathless and begging for more. Sheri
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August 27, 2014 at 7:13 pm
I am at a loss for words after your lavish comment, Sheri. Your kindness is encouraging. Thank you. If you get a ‘feeling’ when you read, I’m over the moon. Thanks so much. ❤ ❤ ❤
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August 27, 2014 at 9:49 pm
Wow, intense and succinct as always Tess. 🙂
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August 28, 2014 at 10:45 am
Thank you Debby. I appreciate your kind comment. ❤ ❤ ❤
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August 28, 2014 at 7:03 am
I especially love the bloated, slate-grey clouds. Great writing, as usual!
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August 28, 2014 at 10:50 am
Thank YOU, Susan. Coming from you, this comments means a lot. I’m pleased for your visit. 🙂
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August 28, 2014 at 9:24 am
I love my friends, I hope they love me. Beautiful story!
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August 28, 2014 at 10:56 am
Good friends are a bonus. ❤
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August 28, 2014 at 12:25 pm
Well written and poignant. Life is like this- unpredictable and sad at times.
You have a wonderful way with words Tess.
This feels like it could be part of a larger narrative as well.
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August 29, 2014 at 4:34 am
Wow!! fabulous writing Tess!
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August 29, 2014 at 4:02 pm
“Silence sank like a sodden blanket…” great alliteration AND simile. A really good piece – I felt like I was in the car with the women.
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December 14, 2014 at 1:59 pm
“Silence sank like a sodden blanket” – lovely turn of phrase.
I like it that you’re venturing into the “longer” territory, no matter how well you pack, some stories need more than 100 words. I like the slower pace and the obliquely emotional approach.
My only quibble might be that rain for a funeral is perhaps a bit of a cliché?
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December 14, 2014 at 3:29 pm
You make a good point, K. Thank you. The rain hadn’t been planned, but intruded into the story unexpectedly.
Next time I’ll avoid rain if I can. 🙂
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