Check this out to join
http://jfb57.wordpress.com/2014/09/15/100-word-challenge-for-grown-ups-week148/
This week’s prompt is … as the waves gently lapped I … +100 words
FLIGHT
My blood rumbled like thunder. No-one knew what I’d done across the water. Yet. Fist to mouth to stop from screaming, I struck my teeth, hard. Now bloody knuckles too.
I peeked out beneath the tarp of the boat I’d anchored earlier. Dawn yawned wide across the empty lake and beach.
Scratch-scratch.
I kept still as death. Was that outside or in?
I spotted the rat beyond my feet and it wasn’t Johnny. He was dead. As the waves gently lapped I tore back the canvas and raced across the sand. Another rat too many for me. I needed fresh clothes, a bath, and a manicure.
© 2014 TAK
September 16, 2014 at 6:17 pm
Dark and malevolent. Nice.
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September 16, 2014 at 6:19 pm
WOW! I want more. Please, write more of this story… You are beyond amazing with these.
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September 16, 2014 at 6:27 pm
I always get excited when I see another one of these! You have true talent.
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September 16, 2014 at 6:45 pm
I take from this that Johnny was a rat of the two legged variety! Well done Tess. You really are superb at this.
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September 16, 2014 at 7:11 pm
Oh! You are such a girl!!
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September 16, 2014 at 7:18 pm
Oh good Lord. That is grim! Remind me to not take a boat trip with you!
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September 16, 2014 at 8:09 pm
Yikes! I am deathly afraid of r…ts. Can’t even say the word. This was very good!
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September 17, 2014 at 8:51 pm
I’m with YOU. Me too. Saw one dead in the road once. That tail… ugh…and it was a big mother.
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September 16, 2014 at 8:54 pm
You are really good at these stories. I too look forward to reading them 🙂 I have to admit I missed the fact that Johnny was a 2-legged rat. Duh. Thank god for other people’s comments 😉
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September 17, 2014 at 8:53 pm
Two legged rat, three or four-leggeds–are all UGH in my book. 😀 The two-legged kind are plain nasty. Do you think she killed Johnny?
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September 17, 2014 at 8:56 pm
Whaaaat? Are you implying she didn’t?!!!
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September 18, 2014 at 12:36 pm
She done dood it, I’m SURE. 😀
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September 18, 2014 at 1:41 pm
but as we know, that’s only part of the story. “Why” is the question 🙂
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September 18, 2014 at 8:06 pm
😀 😀 Johnny was a rat. I cannot tell a lie, and the how. well how would YOU like a rat to die? 😀
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September 18, 2014 at 8:15 pm
I refuse to answer on the grounds that it might incriminate me. 😉
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September 18, 2014 at 8:47 pm
😀 😀 😀
Fantastic answer!
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September 16, 2014 at 10:27 pm
Yes, a good manicure always sends one on to a better frame of mind!
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September 17, 2014 at 9:00 pm
I think she broke a nail somehow when she did away with Johnny. 😀
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September 16, 2014 at 10:43 pm
Oh, fantastic, Tess! Plunged smack into action and mayhem and then that ending! Great! Huntie
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September 17, 2014 at 9:02 pm
Thank you. Huntie. Couldn’t let the poor murderess get bitten by the rat. Anyway, she had broken nails to fix. 😀 😀
I really like this one. Think I might let it cook a while.
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September 17, 2014 at 10:49 pm
😀 x 4. Well done, Tess.
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September 18, 2014 at 12:47 pm
😀 😀 😀 Thank YOU, Huntie. Music to my ears.
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September 17, 2014 at 12:13 am
Wow Tess you have me on the edge of my seat with this thriller. My knuckles hurt at the description. Well done!
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September 17, 2014 at 9:05 pm
Your knuckles hurt? Wowzie. I’m pleased…sorry…you’re not bleeding though? I hoped not.
This murder and mayhem is new. Thought I’d try it. 🙂
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September 17, 2014 at 11:41 pm
Good for you to experiment! Really edge of the seat stuff.
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September 18, 2014 at 12:47 pm
I can always hope, Sue. Thank YOU.
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September 17, 2014 at 1:29 am
Oh my goodness you can’t leave us wondering about this one, there’s a book waiting for you to write!
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September 17, 2014 at 9:09 pm
This is new to me. I’m liking it and actually thinking about it more than most others.
Glad you’re intrigued, Gilly. My work is done…well, kind of.
😀
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September 17, 2014 at 4:01 am
Ooh what has she been up to? Great piece.
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September 17, 2014 at 9:10 pm
I bet it’s Johnny’s fault. I’d put money on it. She HAD to do IT. 😛
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September 17, 2014 at 4:46 am
I love it! 🙂 ❤
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September 17, 2014 at 9:10 pm
Thank YOU, Hope. I’m tickled. This is new for me.
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September 18, 2014 at 1:10 am
🙂
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September 18, 2014 at 12:48 pm
~(*_~)~~
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September 17, 2014 at 8:57 am
Rays and manicures and what happened prior and what is to come. A nice one to leave us guessing about Tess xx
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September 17, 2014 at 8:58 am
Of course you would be guessing about rays as I meant to type rats..I hate predictive IPads !
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September 17, 2014 at 9:19 pm
I did for a second and then KNEW. No worries. I find I’ve been doing more of THAT as well. Silly fingers don’t listen to my BRAIN.
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September 17, 2014 at 9:25 pm
Oh what we have to look forward too later on! xx
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September 18, 2014 at 12:37 pm
😀 😀 😀
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September 17, 2014 at 9:17 pm
Not sure if she broke a nail tying up the boat or killing Johnny. 😀 😀 Geez, he was heavy, dead.
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September 17, 2014 at 11:35 am
That’s a character I’d love to travel with. Killed someone, frightened of a rat–and lists a manicure in the top three things she just must have. I’m going to steal this gal!
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September 17, 2014 at 9:20 pm
😀 😀 😀 She might BE a spy!
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September 17, 2014 at 11:44 am
Another story leaving us wondering. Excellent Tess! One day you will write complete stories for all these cliffhangers! 🙂 xo
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September 17, 2014 at 9:27 pm
😀 😀
I know I will revisit a lot of them. First I must find a nice cottage on Mars where there are no interruptions. ❤ ❤
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September 18, 2014 at 10:45 am
Um, ya, good luck with that. And when you do, find me one too! LOL ❤ xo
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September 18, 2014 at 1:15 pm
😀 😀 😀
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September 17, 2014 at 12:36 pm
Yikes…that’s an attention grabber. 😉
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September 17, 2014 at 9:28 pm
Glad to hear it, Geraldine. You warm my heart. ❤
Thank you for reading and commenting.
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September 17, 2014 at 6:40 pm
Tess! How deliciously creepy!
A murder implied… And the rustling sound of scurrying rats… Was it in your protagonist’s mind, feeling guilt, or something else?
You write beautifully.
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September 17, 2014 at 7:45 pm
You are kind, Kate, and I thank you. I’m a ball of nerves every time I hit the publish button. Your encouragement means so much to me because I think YOU write beautifully. 😮
On Wed, Sep 17, 2014 at 6:40 PM, How the Cookie Crumbles wrote:
>
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September 20, 2014 at 5:21 am
You are the last person who should be nervous when you hit the publish button. I like how you put words together, and leave us just enough at the story’s end to get the point across in an interesting and often elegant manner.
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September 20, 2014 at 1:51 pm
Kate. Thank you. I am pleased you enjoy these and I am not worthy of your high praise.
Let’s start our own mutual admiration society. Deal? ❤ ❤ ❤
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September 17, 2014 at 9:40 pm
Thank YOU, Kate. I am honored.
I don’t believe she gives a hoot now that the two-legged rat is dead. She appears more worried about a manicure and clean clothes. How much blood does she have on her, I wonder? My eyebrows twitch. 😀
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September 20, 2014 at 5:19 am
Re the manicure and clean clothes: well, Tess, a girl’s gotta look good, right? 😀
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September 20, 2014 at 1:47 pm
😀 😀 😀
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September 17, 2014 at 8:00 pm
Your command of these shorts is fabulous! Loved this one, terrible and terrific. A manicure? Wonderful.
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September 17, 2014 at 9:42 pm
Thank YOU, Val. Nice to see you like. Makes me happy. ><3
Her work is done. She happened to break a nail. What else can she want but fresh clothes and a manicure. That Johnny really was a BIG rat, don't you think. She has no qualms, nothing, no guilt. I believe she feels FREE. 😀 😀
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September 18, 2014 at 7:50 pm
Ha! Small nail for a big rat?
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September 18, 2014 at 8:44 pm
BIG rat, small nail but, jagged and uncomfortable now. A spa needed after a hard night’s work. Murder anyone? 😀
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September 19, 2014 at 8:54 am
Fabulous. The bit about the manicure was inspired! Hugs!
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September 19, 2014 at 9:01 am
Thanks so much. A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do, even if it requires a manicure afterwards. 😀 😀
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September 19, 2014 at 2:41 pm
Haha. and I thought Johnny was a real rat, like that Ben rat movie from years ago. Sometimes I am such a duh! thank you so much for following me all the way over to Aki no Koe. you are a dear.
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September 19, 2014 at 6:29 pm
~(*_~)~~ That’s what I’m here for.
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September 19, 2014 at 7:31 pm
🙂
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September 22, 2014 at 9:32 am
Tess – I actually understand this one! Here lately I can be more than a bit dense in my head. Your exquisite line, “My blood rumbled like thunder. No-one knew what I’d done across the water.”
Often I wished I could apply that old slogan of, ‘What happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas,’ when I’ve come back from a trip abroad but it never seems to work that way.
I specifically enjoyed your line, “Dawn yawned wide across the empty lake and beach.” The senses that line awakens in my body and soul sets me on fire.
I’m with you – I haven’t time in my world for rats, insects, spiders and snakes and all that stuff that plagues earth.
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September 22, 2014 at 2:31 pm
😀 😀 😀 So glad you like those lines, Sheri. I’m tickled they helped drag you into the story physically. Oh my.
I haven’t time for rats, snakes or creepy crawlies either. 😀
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September 23, 2014 at 3:25 am
You have me wanting more.
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September 23, 2014 at 9:31 am
Thank you, TBM. ❤
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September 24, 2014 at 2:43 pm
Wow…one dead rat, of the two legged kind. What tension! I agree with TB, I want more too… 🙂 ❤ 😀
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September 24, 2014 at 5:11 pm
Rats to rats, right?
Glad you’re intrigued and continue to visit, read and comment. Thank you, Sherri, ❤
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September 25, 2014 at 5:47 am
Yes…and of course Tess, always….you know it… 😀 ❤ x infinity 😉
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September 25, 2014 at 12:56 pm
❤ x the same. ❤ ❤ Thank YOU.
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September 25, 2014 at 6:10 pm
You’re always welcome Tess… ~ (* – *)~ 🙂
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September 26, 2014 at 11:06 am
~(~_*)~~
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September 29, 2014 at 7:19 am
Love it… ❤
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December 14, 2014 at 2:26 pm
An enticing glimpse. What about giving us the whole story?
Johnny the rat…,but real rats are nice animals!
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December 14, 2014 at 3:42 pm
Ha ha. Maybe only the white ones in pet stores. The brown ones are huge and look dirty. I saw one once, run over on the road. The tail makes me feel ill.
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