How the Cookie Crumbles

An irreverant view of life after SIXTY-FIVE

#BlogBattle – Week 16

65 Comments


You ought to check out Rachel’s blog below, for the rules and join in:blogbattle-award-1

http://rachaelritchey.com/blogbattle/

The prompt this week is …spaghetti… + up to 1,000 words

Spaghetti and Tomato Sauce

Lois packed an overnight bag. She hadn’t been away from little Ryan since his birth almost 18 months earlier. There was no alternative; she had to go. One last check: cosmetics, extra socks, a change of clothes, toothbrush. Everything else she’d borrow from her mother. She took a deep breath, zipped and carted the bag to the front door where she dropped it.

“Parker, I’ve loaded the dishwasher and set the timer.” Hands on narrow hips, she glared at the newspaper concealing her husband in the living-room. “Parker!”

The rustle of paper shuffling broke the tense silence. “You say something?” He lowered the paper to reveal watery blue eyes, one eye engrossed in the print and the other flickered in her direction.

“I know neither of us is happy with this situation, but I have to go.”

“Why can’t one of your lady friends look after Ryan?” The paper rose by millimeters creating a wall again.

Lois marched to the Easy Boy and flattened the paper to her husband’s knees. “Look, I’d take him with me if I could, but my hands will be full. My mother needs me.”

He folded the pages and dropped the bundle on the floor. “Don’t be like that. We’ll manage. Just one night, right?”

“I’ll be back by lunchtime or mid-afternoon. You’ve read the instructions. Any last minute questions? He’s a little boy and an easy kid. You won’t have any trouble.”

* * *

The next day, Lois rolled into her driveway tired, but happy. Her mother’s tests had gone well. Hair pulled in a ponytail hinted of not too distant younger days instead of her current 35 years. She retrieved her paraphernalia from the trunk and scanned the neighborhood. So good to be home. The smell of fall already hung in the air though the trees hadn’t changed color yet. Laugh lines engaged, she hummed to herself as she strode to the front door.

Wouaaa.

“No!”

“What th…” Lois kicked off her shoes and dropped her bags. Ryan never kicked up a fuss. She dashed towards the howl in the kitchen. Her jaw dropped. The kitchen had been redecorated in red noodles. Both father and son were covered in spaghetti and tomato sauce as well.

“Come on, little man. You like this sh—stuff. Yum-yum.” The baby’s hand collided with the spoon and sent it flying in his mother’s direction. She stepped back in time to avoid a splatter. “Thank gawd you’re home. Look, Mommy’s home, Ryan. Isn’t that nice?”

“Mama-Mama.” Grubby fingers working, chubby arms stretched to reach across the distance.

Ryan wriggled and crawled from the center of the kitchen table, sauce and spaghetti stuck all around him, his little face covered from his hairline downwards. Only his eyeballs appeared untainted. His mother snatched him before he reached the edge. A giggle bubbled up her throat, then grew to an enormous belly laugh as his gummy cheek stuck to hers. Parker sucked in a quick breath and chuckled too. The boy pulled back, eyes wide as he examined his parents and put a gooey hand to his mouth and joined in. Lois pointed a finger at her husband’s head and hooted. “You have more food on your head than hair.”

“Mama-mama.” Ryan rocked himself in his mother’s arms, thumb already in his mouth.

“Mommy’s home, baby. Let’s clean you up. It’s past your nap-time.” Lois ruffled his thin blond hair not unlike his father’s.

“I guess I’ll start on the kitchen.” Parker ducked his head and made a clucking noise.

“One question. Why didn’t you put him into the highchair?”

“He fought like a tiger—arms and legs spun like a propeller. He’s a strong little kid.”

“What’s for lunch? I’m starving?”

“Oh. A can of soup and a bun okay?

“See you in a bit, I’m dying to hear about your time together.”

* * *

Changed and showered, Ryan asleep, Lois poured a coffee in the sticky kitchen. “The stained laundry is ruined. By the way, what did you do with the soiled diapers? They’re not in the diaper pail.”

“Phe-ew. I didn’t know what to do with them, but I had to get them out of the house.”

Eyebrows raised to sharp peeks, she set her mug on the table. Parker squirmed in his seat, a flush rushed from his neck to his ears like a bruise. He twisted the mug in his hands.

“I’ve never been alone with Ryan before. I had to think of something fast.” He rubbed the back of his neck, looking everywhere but at his wife. “What do you do with them?”

She sat back in her chair arms folded and head tilted. “I told you. They all go into the diaper pail. What did you do?”

“I buried them in the backyard.”

“Wha— Maybe you ought to bury all the spaghetti stained clothing as well.”

The End

© 2015 Tess @ How the Cookie Crumbles. All Rights Reserved.

Advertisements

Author: Let's CUT the Crap!

I'm getting a little LONG in the tooth and have things to say about---ouch---AGEing. I believe it's certainly a state of mind but sometimes it's nice to hear that you're NORMAL. I enjoy reading by the truckload. I'm a grandma but I don't feel OLD although I'm not so young anymore. My plan is to stick it out as long as I can on this lovely planet and only will leave it kicking and screaming!

65 thoughts on “#BlogBattle – Week 16

  1. Sounds like that dad could use a little more experience. Another night alone with the little guy should give it to him. 😉

    Fun story, Tess!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. A great yarn wonderfully told! I can sympathize with Dad – another 3 kids and he’ll start to get the hang of it!

    Like

  3. Hilarious!!!! Could have been my hubby with our two boys!

    Like

  4. Reblogged this on Barrow Blogs: and commented:
    OMG!

    Like

  5. Haha! I was beginning to worry about those diapers, but buried in the yard isn’t so bad. Vivid imagery as always, Tess. I really don’t know how you pack so much into so few words. Thanks for starting my morning with a chuckle. Mega hugs! 😀

    Like

  6. I confess that laughing wouldn’t likely be my reaction … I’d probably cry. Burying the diapers is inspired though 🙂

    Like

  7. Oh dear he’s a lost cause isn’t he? But he could be playing crafty dafty to make sure she doesn’t go away again! 😁

    Like

  8. Wow . In 18 months Dad had never been alone with him? I must admit, as a first time Mama, I was like that too. Not so #2!

    Like

  9. Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
    Tess Karlinski and one of her blog battles with the prompt Spaghetti and a young father is left with his toddler son for the first time…omg

    Liked by 1 person

  10. OMG – I loved this, Tess! Buried ’em in the backyard!! 😀 Too funny!

    You do such a great job with dialogue and humor. This started my day out on just the right note. I’m smiling!

    Like

  11. Fun, funl, fun. Great story – it’s Clueless but with a Dad.

    Like

  12. It sounds like you had fun writing this one. I liked the image of baby and daddy covered head-to-foot in pasta. The one word that broke my concentration was when you described the eyebrows as ‘conical shaped’. A very mathematical way of saying ‘raised brows’. But I loved the dad’s response to the diaper crisis. Burying them in the backyard was priceless.

    Like

  13. Ha ha! I had to laugh. Wonderful, Tess and such fun 😀 I wonder what the neighbours thought 😀

    Like

  14. Ha Ha! What a great story! I loved the fact that he buried the nappies in the garden as he ‘didn’t know what to do with them!’ I bet he thinks his ineptitude will get him out of having to do it again! 🙂

    Like

  15. Great story, Tess, I can picture the child covered in spaghetti, I have one of those pics with my son and his attempt at “finger food”. I left my husband alone with my firstborn for a weekend when she was just a year old. When I returned, she was saying, No, No, No, while pointing her finger at her toys. It told me what kind of weekend they had together, but they survived ! ☺ Van

    Like

  16. Great story, Tess. Reminded me of the story my mom tells about my dad watching my sister when she was a baby. My sister’s dirty diaper made my dad vomit. He put newspapers on the floor to soak up (cover) it all. When my mom came up the stairs to their third floor apartment she could see all the newspaper on the floor through the gap between the door and the floor. My dad should have buried the diaper; he could have vomited in the same hole! 🙂

    Like

  17. All I could say was “whew.” I thought that kid was going to end up dead.

    But in this day and age, are fathers still really this stupid? Don’t answer that.

    Like

  18. Love the “bury the spaghetti stained clothing” line. Good one, Tess.

    Like

  19. Burying the stinky nappies – why didn’t I think of that when I had little poopers 🙂
    Another delightful tale – thank you!

    Like

  20. Lovely. And it rings so true! Great work, Tess!

    Like

  21. If my husband had been that clueless about taking care of our daughters, especially after 18 months, he’d be gone! So funny–I can picture that spaghetti covered kid. I loved the burial of the diapers though. I wonder if there’s a memorial stone. 🙂

    Like

  22. My Son acted pretty much the opposite; fussed with Mommy, but well behaved with me. I even worked more than full time. Even after we split up, did he act thus. Go figure.

    Like

  23. Fun one Tess. Of course a little close to home.

    Like

  24. Pingback: #BlogBattle Week 16 “Spaghetti” Entries & Voting | Writing Rachael Ritchey

  25. A very cute story – all too familiar I think for us mums who have left our kids with dads who sometimes don’t quite have the mummy touch!

    Like

  26. Great tale Tess 🙂

    Like

  27. Funny tale, Tess… I’d probably have created an even worse mess had I been left in charge! Good job!

    Like

  28. Patience and practice makes perfect and I’m sure they were perfectly stinky diapers.
    Great one, Tess, is it weird it made me crave spaghetti? 😉

    Like

  29. 🙂 At least the daddy didn’t go beserk and not live up to the task. Though hopefully this makes him a bit more willing to be hands on!! 🙂

    Like

  30. The best humor comes from reality. That is glorious, Tess. How is it babies confuse them so?

    Like

  31. I was dying, laughing and giggling all the way through the thought of the tomato sauce.

    Like

  32. Thanks so much, Val. I haven’t tried humor for quite a while and am pleased if you felt giggles at any time. I’d kill my spouse if I came home to such a mess. This was pure fun to write. 😀 ❤

    Like

  33. Sounds like something my husband would do…lol

    Like

  34. It impresses me how many lovely people you have following and commenting on your spectacular blog, Tess! I have nominated you for the Liebster Award. Just wanted to let you know! I’ll be reading Blog Battle stories tomorrow. ❤ Can't wait to read this one!

    http://rachaelritchey.com/2015/07/02/liebster-award-part-3/

    Like

    • Thank you, Rachael. You are ever so kind.Of course I’m tickled 52 shades of pink, but I’m an award-free blog and , I’ll be pushing away from my blogging keyboard and going on hiatus for the summer (note will be posted tomorrow). I enjoy the #BlogBattle community and will miss it. Already, I miss it and plan to come backup on my return in September. 😀 ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • I know! Haha I remember front last time, 😉 but heaven’s, you’re one of my biggest contributors and I wanted to acknowledge that fact.

        Ooooh no and ohhhh yay! 🙂 enjoy your summer. We will miss you in the battle, but you will always be welcome back, anytime! 🙂

        Like

  35. You have this way of creating characters that are so easy to be engaged with, who then leave you wanting to know absolutely everything about them. I know the story has ended, but part of me, each week, is left wondering “What next? Where is the next chapter?” When will you make my world a better place by writing novel? lol Seriously. On dad’s being left with children, I have to say I have been blessed with an amazing dad. He has very keen maternal instincts. My mom would boast often that every night when he came home from work he always had milk, diapers and bread. He never came home without them. Because he worked 3rd shift he watched me and my brother during the mornings and the afternoons. We would have never gotten to make a mess like that on his watch. Even now, turning 33, I still have him watching me with knives telling me how sharp they are and how to cut things. And I can’t help but give him a look like “Really? If I cut myself at my age with this knife, I deserve it.” Lol

    Like

  36. This gave me the giggles. This was funny in the ha ha sort of way, and funny how men can get away with such behavior from inexperience. I agree a few more times alone or a couple more kids will definitely help him out. 🙂

    Like

  37. Dear Tess,
    I laughed out at the end. But every dad should know and be glad to take care of his own kids. This reminded me of the Norwegian folk tale, The Man Who Kept House, who thought his wife had it so easy when he worked in the fields all day. So they traded places, and by the time the wife came home, he had made a wreck of the home, nearly killed the cow, and was very much humbled. Wonderful storytelling!

    Like

  38. This was a joy to read, oh my goodness, I love that little Ryan! I’ll miss reading your Blog Battle stories until you return, Tess *sniffle*. I hope you have a fun hiatus and enjoy yourself this summer. Will you be going on a trip for the summer?

    Like

  39. This made me smile. I can juts see the spaghetti sauce everywhere, covering the poor baby. And burying the diapers in the backyard? Brilliant. 😀

    Like

  40. It was a tight race, Tess, but you’ve won the battle! Congrats! ❤ I know you're on haitus from blogging for the summer, but would you do us the honor of a winner interview before you take your vacation? 😉 email me at writingraci@gmail.com if you are up for it!

    Like

  41. Yesterday I used spinach/artichoke dip in lieu of tomato sauce on spaghetti.

    Like

  42. ha!!! That was great, Tess. 🙂 Totally a winner. 😀

    Like

  43. Pingback: Interview with “Spaghetti” #BlogBattle Winner Tess | Writing Rachael Ritchey

Some things in life are complicated. Let's keep it simple.

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s