How the Cookie Crumbles

Life and scribbles on the far side of SIXTY-FIVE


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#BlogBattle Week 6 – Theme Blonde

Meet Janet Blonde

It had been one of those weeks. You know the kind; nothing right from the start. First the alarm refused to buzz Monday morning: rush, no time for a shower; messy ginger hair. A power failure had swooped in during the night and hampered Jenny’s arrival for her highly publicized Money Matters Lecture at the university. A million assembled eyes scrutinised her rush up the aisle to the stage. She dropped her handbag, then the umbrella and her water bottle. Her nose twitched as her armpits leaked onto the new no-brand-name blouse she’d saved for this occasion. How bad did she stink? Even in her haste, she ran nervous fingers over its tiny buttons to confirm none have been missed or misaligned. Someone droned at the podium reminding students about on-going lists of meetings and activities.

Silver-haired Professor Leight crossed the stage to guide Jenny up the stairs. She struggled to remove the all-weather coat and pushed forward. At least it hadn’t rained as she’d rushed on her way. Her heel caught in the snag of a stair as his firm hand clasped hers and saved her from tumbling to the floor like an overlarge two-year old or wandering tumble-weed.

“Slip your foot out,” he said.

She blinked, nodded and pulled it out. “Yes.”

He leaned over, whipped the shoe out like Prince Charming, and presented it as if it were the glass slipper in the children’s fairy tale. Chairs creaked, throats cleared and the speaker at the lectern glanced over her shoulder. Hand covering the mic, she mouthed, “All set?”

Eyes widened, Jenny tapped her handbag. Oh no, then closed them. She sprang from her chair. Shoulders at right angles, she hurried towards the mic. Her announced name crackled throughout the auditorium. “It is my great pleasure to introduce Jenny Blonde, President of the Chartered Accountants Association in the Greater GTA area.”

* * *

Thunderous clapping declared the end of her ordeal. Chairs scrapped and students buzzed with excitement. Jenny had no recall of what she’d said. Had it been the same as the last speech at the previous school? Polite handshakes and yet another thank you over, Professor Leight steered her to a side exit. Jenny popped open her umbrella like a shield and marched into the teeming rain. “Great. Now I have to walk around the building to my car.”  She bit her lip and planted one foot after the other, head down in stubborn concentration.

Tuesday morning the water was cold as Antarctica, the hot water tank had died sometime after her shower in the rain and the hot shower at home. “Drat. Not only an inconvenience, but another expense.” Thank goodness for the week’s leave from work. The serviceman promised between 11:00 and 1:00 p.m., when she phoned, showed up on time.

“Probably the sensor needs cleaning,” he said

“How much?”

“A little over $200.00, but lots cheaper than replacing the unit.”

“What? Ridiculous!”

Wednesday, Jenny drove to visit her mother an hour out of town. Weeping drizzle followed her all the way. Her mother’s freezer had quit and stank to high heaven but her mother wasn’t aware of it. Guess who cleaned it?

Her laptop froze on Thursday in the middle of a calculation in Excel. Frustrated after the depressing week, Jenny unplugged the battery, fed the cat and went to bed earlier than usual. Even a glass of wine didn’t appeal to her. She tried reading, but the words wouldn’t behave and didn’t compute.

Friday, lunch with her childhood girlfriend, Sylvie, might have turned into a disaster. Her car keys weren’t in her handbag as they headed back to the car an hour and a half later. “I would have heard them had they’d fallen.”

“I’ll say. You have more noisy toys on your key ring than necessary. Did you check the table inside?”

“Yes. The server cleared the table and left it bare.”

They approached the car. Jenny peeked inside. In plain sight, the keys were safe in the ignition.

Sylvie pressed her lips into a pink hyphen. “Oh-oh. The doors are locked.”

“It’s okay. I have a backup in my wallet.”

“How much gas have you? It’s been running this whole time!”

When the car wouldn’t start Saturday afternoon, it wasn’t because she was out of gas; the battery was dead. Roadside Assistance warned her this was her third call in less than a year. She’d need to wait another four months before calling again.

By Sunday night, Jenny had retrieved her wind-up travel alarm, checked the hot water tank numerous times, ensured her car keys waited safe in her purse, and started her car one last time before she sank into bed.

Never again. No more resting at home. Next time I book time off, it’ll be on a beach somewhere. I’m more tired now than when this bizarre week began.

The End

© 2015 All Rights Reserved Tess @ How the Cookie Crumbles

♦  ♦  ♦  ♦  ♦  ♦

Links to more #BlogBattles

#BlogBattle Week 7 – Theme: Cosmic  Cosmic Neglect

#BlogBattle Week 8 (Madness)  Madness

#BlogBattle Week 9 (Bun)  Bun?

#BlogBattle Week 10 (Loop)  Threw Me for a Loop

#BlogBattle Week 11 (News)  News

#BlogBattle Week 12 (Horde)  You’re a Lifesaver

#BlogBattle Week 13 (Rope)  To Plant a Rose

#BlogBattle – Week 14 (Frog)  No More

#BlogBattle – Week 15 (Rage)  Rage

#BlogBattle – Week 16 (Spaghetti)  Spaghetti and Tomato Sauce  WINNER!

On hiatus: to be continued

Week 25  (Legumes)  Tonight’s Canning

Week 26 (Head)  Grandpa Jones

Away on vacation

Week 29  (Ride)  Choices Part 1

Week 30  (Reach)  Choices Part 2

Week 31 (Scar)  Choices Part 3

Week 32 (Mars) Choices Part 4

Week 33 (Lurk) Choices Part 5


Week 44 (Worm) Initiation

Week 45 (Dive) Goldilocks

Week 46 (Indian) Along Came Polly Part 1

Week 47 (Forest) Along Came Polly Part 2

Week 48 (Chasm) Along Came Polly Part 3

Week 49 (Lillipops) Change

Week 50 (Pure) A Little Malarkey

Week 51 (Trace) Snagged – Part 1

Week 52 (Hair) Snagged – Part 2

Week 53 (Bun) (Bun?) 1st Year Anniversary Special

Week 54 (Feather) Snagged – Part 3

Week 55 (Leviathan) Snagged – Part 4


Week 60 (Duplicitous) Crushed  WINNER!

Week 61 (Surfer) Busted

Week 62 (Photograph) Broken

Week 63 (Hero) Butterfingers

* * *


Week 1 (resolved)  Resolved

Week 2 (thorn)  Thorn

Week 3 (air)  Kitten or Mouse

Week 4 (iridescent)  Olive Goldglimmer

Week 5 (adore) Oh, Henry!

Week 6 (cowboy) The Devil is in the Details

Week 7 (shine) See No Evil

Week 8  (melody) The Best of the Best

* * *

16 thoughts on “#BlogBattle

  1. Nice one, Tess! I am feeling pretty sorry for Jenny right now. That’s no way to spend your week of vacation! Glad she didn’t melt into a puddle of hysterics along the way. haha 🙂


  2. Pingback: Blonde #BlogBattle Week 6 Entries & Voting | Writing Rachael Ritchey

  3. Glad my week wasnt as bad as this one! Poor Blondie! 🙂 Great story x


  4. Nice Blog Battle story, Tess. Poor Jenny had quite a week! Not like a vacation at all.


  5. This stormy makes me feel better. It’s ”one of those weeks’, but twice as bad. 🙂


  6. Pingback: Creative Blogger Award | Writing Rachael Ritchey

  7. You’re Nominated! Not to worry, if you don’t feel up to fulfilling the rules, I’ll give you a pass. Just want you to know I appreciate you and your creativity! Creative Blogger Award

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Ah the lament of the working person — vacations are exhausting! But this one makes them pale in comparison. 😀 Hugs!


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