How the Cookie Crumbles

Life and scribbles on the far side of SIXTY-FIVE


Makeup Graveyard

WE all buy it. Tons of it. There are always new promises. New and improved products. There’s magic to be had and darn it, I’m going to get me some! All I have to do is open up my wallet. Go to another presentation. Talk to another female friend who has found the fountain of youth. She swears by it. “It’s a miracle,” she says. “You gotta try it. My face has never felt so smooth or dewy.”

Before my eyes the results are even better than any commercial or promise. For about two weeks.

Over time, I have ended up with baskets full of beauty products which might work for some ONE but not for me. Not anymore.

The last one I’d gone to was a Mary Kay home makeup party in the seventies. It was expensive, was a lot of work but seemed to be working. But not as well as it supposedly had for Mary Kay. Maybe my skin wasn’t old enough yet. I’m sure I must have had the wrong kind of skin. The magic didn’t even last until I finished my whole program of products.

Probably not at a house party but somehow I heard about Clinique. Everything was well and good, but this too fell flat not too long into our cozy liaison. Then there was Estee Lauder and so on.

Recently, I attended an ARBONNE home makeup party. Once again I was mesmerized by promises of the purity of the product: no byproducts, plant based, no mineral oil(s) to clog up your skin etc. The word Switzerland also evoked a kind of alluring promise. I had dared to mention to the consultant that I had, (as did we all most likely), a makeup graveyard underneath my bathroom sink. I wished that manufacturers made smaller sizes for the newly initiated. She told me there is a 45-day money back guarantee with this product. That’s a good start. I think, but I’ll have to wait and see. How many people actually go to the trouble to return products?

I try to believe that someday I’ll be truly happy with a product that’s doing a reasonable job. Are the manufacturers not keeping up with my skin’s age when it is time? I found products to be more agreeable before the anti-wrinkle formulations as they do not agree with me. My skin thinks it’s wrinkle cream.

What I want to know, as I follow all the different promises to the fountain of youth, is why do they seem to poop out so soon? Usually you’re expected to see results within 30 days. I’ve tried that too but the magic soon fizzles out. I’ve never tried to look impossibly youthful as time marches on. I just want to feel good about myself.

So to sum up. Will I be yet again disappointed? Maybe. Will I stop spending big bucks to look soft and dewy? Not likely. Why is it that I can’t bring myself to throw out all those half-full containers of past due wizardry from underneath my sink? OK, so I’ve taken a stab at it but still tend to hang on to some of it anyway. What will it take to bring in that bulldozer?

Other Reasons for the Graveyard

I have another beef. Over the years, I have fallen in love with certain beauty products that I LIKE. Take lipstick shades, for instance. I’ve also liked after shower sprays by Jean Nate and Calgon. I have been using some products faithfully for years. Suddenly, the colour is changed just enough not to be agreeable anymore. Or it’s been removed altogether. Something I’ve liked has had its formulation changed. A product has been replaced with a new, better invention but doesn’t work as well as the original. I’m still talking about ME.

I’m out in the cold, again, without prior warning. What’s with all that? Didn’t it used to be that the customer mattered? I don’t think I like being told what is good for me.