This week’s prompt: … READ THE INSTRUCTIONS! … + 100 words
Sydney stared at his news-printed hands and pant knees. Palms half-way to his lap, he froze. Rising from the floor with a loud sigh, he headed to the kitchen sink. Hands scrubbed, he grit his teeth and pulled on an earlobe, a habit from childhood when trouble brewed. “Dang-blasted contraption.”
The front door slammed and shoes clattered on the hardwood. Mabel’s nose poked around the hallway corner ahead of her. “Easy-peasy, right?” Her chin and smile wobbled.
Red-faced, Sydney held up the extraneous parts, his comb-over slipping.
“It’s a steam mop, not a rocket ship. READ THE INSTRUCTIONS!”
Does anyone in this whole wide world dislike hate fruit flies like I do?
Fruit flies were everywhere yesterday, following me around it seemed. No fruits or vegetables anywhere. Why did they descend on me? Sure I ‘m apt to find a few in the kitchen during the warm summer weather now and again, as in past years, except last fall, we had hordes. I don’t expect a following to my favourite spot on the sofa, though, nor around my computer (which happens to be in my bedroom). No fruit or food in here either.
I smashed at least a dozen of the flying pests certain only one existed. As soon as I clapped one dead another one materialized. I couldn’t get any work done. And, one flew at my face. What? This made it personal. Did I mention I’m not dead yet and I can prove it? I’m like a frog—I’m so fast—but I don’t use a weird tongue to do the job. Who else is so talented to kill and applaud at the same time?
I half-filled a mug with sugar water and placed it on a side table by my desk. No captives to report in the past twenty-four hours. No race resulted, either, to determine who craved my glass of wine first. I’m almost disappointed; this is most unusual. You won’t believe it—I couldn’t either—a fruit fly in my COFFEE swam its last dead fly float! Have the fruit flies of the world joined AA?
Not so long ago, I remember house flies bu-z-z-z-z-ed. Of late, I notice they annoy the hell out of me but are mute. Fruit flies hung around my kitchen until last night but swoon over sugar water and wine no more. What’s happening? I thought technology was going to confuse me first not the silly bug world.
Tonight, a lone fruit fly came to visit. It had the nerve to land on the back of my wrist—bold as brass. Yes, I looked at it—for a millisecond, and let him have it. Later, a cousin or a spouse flew in.
How I hate washing my hands every five minutes but no trouble shall I have sleeping the good sleep yet again tonight.
Now for this week’s prompt. As you know Julia likes to be topical so she’s thinking Easter. However, she’s thinking a little outside the box! The prompt is quite simple but the trick this week is to prepare for NEXT week! Check this out at Julia’s Place.
You are to write a piece with the following:
….‘What was the rabbit late for,’ wondered Alice…..
Wonderland No More
Alice walked into the office. Hands clasped tight. A toothy rabbit behind the desk had one eye on his watch.
“Hello. Sit down. Let’s get to it. What are your favourite colours?”
“Pink and orange?” Alice looked puzzled.
“Do you like stripes, polka dots?
“The job’s yours!”
Eyes large as teacups, she stammered, “What job…?”
“Painting eggs for the Easter egg hunt. Stay here. I must go. I’m late.” And he was gone.
“What was the rabbit late for,” wondered Alice. Face flushed, she stood up and stamped her foot. “I don’t like painting eggs. I want to go home!”
If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
I would love to live in Spain. When I was a little girl, without knowing anything about it, I’d made up my mind that’s where I would like to live. Even after I was old enough to think about it, it stuck as my first choice. It must have something to do with reincarnation. Go figure.
If you were a car or truck what make, model, year and color would you be?
I would definitely be a Nissan Cube; 2012 model year. The first time I saw one, I fell in love. It’s so cartoon-like and fun looking. I’d be the next best thing since the latest version of the Volkswagen Beetle. Beautiful in white. Just look at my gently rounded silouette. Just look at the Flintstone windows!
What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?
I would like to leave a legacy for my grandchildren. Hopefully, it’ll be something thought provoking and interesting that they’ll be proud of.
Where do you eat breakfast?
I have my breakfast hanging over the morning newspaper.
* * *
You know, of course, that these are my deepest secrets and I would ask that you not devulge this information to ANYone.
Mostly, it’s the little things that make me happy. At first look, they might seem small and meaningless but just wait till you get to be my age, you’ll appreciate them too. In the grand scheme of things, the smaller they seem, the greater the pleasure. Let you show you some of them—it’s not THAT funny!
finding the leftover chocolate when scavenging for a snack and not worrying how long it’s been there
finding my slippers in the middle of the night on the way to the can
finding I’ve pulled up the covers on the bed on the way to the bathroom so the bed’s nice and warm when I return. Yay.
not having to get up to the can more than once or twice a night. Burrrr.
the cat’s sleeping in and not waking me to feed him
sleeping past 6:00 AM
giving up on all those miracle creams that are NOT working their magic anymore
not forgetting to gas up before my trip so I won’t be stranded
finding my keys where I put them (in my purse)
finding my cell phone still has a charge
remembering my PIN number
If I could just remember where I’ve put my glasses, life would be almost perfect. Oh, by the way, I can’t forget that my lip reading skills aren’t up to scratch yet so I have to keep asking my kids and grandkids to repeat the question…or is it the answer?
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