Baffled and Bewildered

February 1, 2013 by Let's CUT the Crap! 35 Comments

As far back as I can remember, I’ve used two (paper) calendars in my house: one in the kitchen to organize appointments; the other in the bathroom for thoughts, books and authors I’ve finished reading and stuff I need to remember to do. Old habits die hard. What can I say?

 Every year, my local newspaper delivers The Milk Calendar (free—and with interesting recipes inside), but I am only interested in the large blocks of space afforded me to make notations on days an idea etc. strikes me. Last year I was lucky because I spoke up and someone had an extra calendar. This year, I broke down and purchased a second calendar at Walmart (only .97 cents—big deal). Had I asked around, I could have obtained a free one again.

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 Earlier in January, I stood in line at The 99-cent Depot (who are they kidding?) to pay for a couple of plastic baskets to keep various stacks of paper sorted ($2.00 each). My eyes fell on a delicious shade of teal nail polish while I waited in line. For $1.25 I figured, why not, and stepped back to grab a bottle.

Later, I was disappointed because the finish felt rough to the touch. The next morning I wandered up the stairs (early morning dark, seven-ish a.m.) to pick up the newspaper on the first landing. Yellow flashes of light caught my eye. I did a double-take only to be startled by my glow-in-the-dark fingers. First thought: ack—radio activity! On checking the bottle, no reference to anything but nail polish was evident. I lost no time in removing the colour!

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 Christmas sales were still on when I dragged myself out of the house to pick up some necessary groceries at Walmart in early January (only because it’s close by). I wandered over to the shoe department afterwards, specifically to look at slippers. For $5.00 each I bought two different pair.

 One dark morning, while making a sleepy run down the hall around four or five a.m., I noticed sparks underneath my feet as they hit the floor. What? Radio active soles?  OK, I’m not totally nuts and I’ll be the first to agree I’m hot stuff, but really, what makes me so HOT to cause static electricity instantaneously? It’s not radio activity, right?

 I’ve been programmed to embrace change most of my life, but it seems to be happening at an alarming pace. It’s easier to accept what I understand. Imported slippers and nail polish? Is my problem that I’ve been out of the loop the past bunch of years?

Ack.