How the Cookie Crumbles

An irreverant view of life after SIXTY-FIVE

Is This Gossip?

52 Comments


The following story is true. A six-year-old, Laurie, (not her real name) and an almost ten-year-old, Jenna, (also a fake name) are sisters. The older one lords it over the younger, but Laurie is, well—Laurie.

~ * ~

“It’s true, Jenna. Seriously.” Laurie tucks soft butter-blonde hair behind an ear and twirls hands in the air as she relates her story.

The girls are in the front hall at home. Grandma has just brought them home after school. Big sister sets her jaw and shakes her head. “Are you making this up?”

“No. I am not. Michael told me he’s not coming to our school soon. He’s moving far away.” She bounces back and forth in her stocking feet.

“So where are they moving to?”

Laurie stretches taller and grins as wide as she can. “He’s moving to Toronto.”

“How do you know all this?” Jenna plays with a strand of whiskey-blonde hair, tastes it and studies the wet ends.

“Aren’t you listening, Michael told me. His father gots a new job.”

morgueFile free photos

morgueFile free photos

“When are they moving?”

Laurie waves the air. “I don’t know.”

Jenna sighs. “So, is Michael still your boyfriend?”

“Well…I still love him; he said he doesn’t love mebut he likes my voice.” Blue eyes glow and seek direct contact with her sister’s.

“He told you that?”

“Seriously!” Laurie ups her tone. “I’m not lying.” Both wrists twist at her sides, back and forth in half circles, fingers squirming about. Schoolbags lay dropped on the ceramic floor.

“Uh-huh.”

Laurie frowns and tilts her head. “His bother Lucas is in your class, right? Do you love him or something?”

“N-O. Of course not…remember my friend Giada in my class? Her family is going to the Bahamas for ten days. She has to bring homework to do in the hotel room while the rest of them go swimming. That sucks.”

“That’s so not fair. Seriously. ” Fingers churn the air again. “Is she gonna do it?”

Jenna lifts a shoulder and lets it drop. “Come on. We better unpack our lunch bags before Daddy gets home.”

~ * ~

Meanwhile, Grandma eavesdrops around the corner in the kitchen. Her face is blood red and distorted from lack of oxygen. Pffh. She lets out a lungful of air and grabs the counter. A hand is clamped over her mouth to stifle her laughter.

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Author: Let's CUT the Crap!

I'm getting a little LONG in the tooth and have things to say about---ouch---AGEing. I believe it's certainly a state of mind but sometimes it's nice to hear that you're NORMAL. I enjoy reading by the truckload. I'm a grandma but I don't feel OLD although I'm not so young anymore. My plan is to stick it out as long as I can on this lovely planet and only will leave it kicking and screaming!

52 thoughts on “Is This Gossip?

  1. I love listening to the kids talk about their day. It can get very interesting!

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  2. One of my friends is a live-in nanny. The overheard dialogue she posts on Facebook are blog worthy like yours, and so funny.

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  3. So cute. Somehow I feel I know this grandma. 🙂

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  4. I took a deep breath for you…. 🙂 🙂 🙂

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    • Just in time too. Another moment and I would have suffocated.

      Kids are so much more interesting today than in my time. What about your experience?

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      • I think that we are more open to listening because we have more time. My grandmother had 8 children! Can you imagine what wash day was like without washer/dryer! She was happy to have a wash machine with a ringer that would take off a arm if you got caught in it!!! I also think that there is a greater recognition that children have a natural enthusiasm for life that is a joy to behold!!! Really enjoying following your blog.

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      • Thanks so much. You are a generous soul.
        I remember the wringer washer but only 5 children, not 8. I can’t imagine doing laundry with at LEAST that wringer washer. 😉

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  5. Let’s call the Grandma a fictional name…. like….Tess. 🙂

    I love kid chatter.

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  6. I would have wet myself!!!

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    • I have a time or two. They are soooooo funny especially the younger one. She vibrates with energy when she has something to tell and used this authoritative voice which makes her sound much older than her sister. Haha.

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  7. Kids conversations are great aren’t they! I bet teachers have the best time listing to those conversations, especially when kids reveal things about their parents that they probably shouldn’t!

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    • We’ve all heard stories about ‘freedom of information’ at school. I just thought of one told by a lady at work when I first started earning my keep. Her young daughter (about 5?) announced to company one night how her mother slept with the girl’s uncle one weekend while her Daddy was away on a fishing weekend. Turns out, he had spent the night but not in Mommy’s bed. Ha ha.

      Kids these days tell much more sophisticated tales.

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  8. What fun. I’ve recently ‘hired’ our 11 year old neighbor to help me with the garden and I’m not sure which one of has the most fun. Just as soon as I pay her for her work, she giggles and we come in and buy music and books. She’s starting to put a spring in my step.

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    • Lovely to hear, Sheri. Young people are so much more interesting than they were when I was growing up. We were taught to be seen only and not heard. This time round, it’s better. 🙂
      Have fun with your new friend.

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  9. Ah, kid talk 🙂
    They can be so serious about just about everything – too cute Tess
    😉

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  10. Grandma is listening in on private conversations! Bad Grandma, but at least Grandma is learning new and important skills.

    I don’t think this is gossip.

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    • The six-year-old has me in awe of some of her in-depth details of what goes on in families of classmates. I didn’t have this kind of curiosity at that age or capacity to relate. And she’s soooooooooo dramatic. At least my hair hasn’t turned ALL white yet and my lung capacity is improving. 😉

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  11. I love to hear young girls talk–so full of life.

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  12. Tut-tut Grandma! Can you keep listening please its entertaining 🙂

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  13. I love eavesdropping on teenagers on the bus. They’re so transparent 🙂

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  14. Lol Tess, I am suspecting you were in this story! 🙂

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  15. Just wanted to drop by and give you a hug. Hope you have a great week! 🙂

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  16. That Grandma–whoever it is–is very lucky to have 2 grandkids like this. I await my day.

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  17. Kids talk is always fascinating. Sure you must be having great time listening to them talk 🙂

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  18. Let’s Cut the Crap, LMAO, but then when I am out of breath I am out of breath. I truly loved this little adventure. And if forced might even admit that such a conversation may have taken place during my life. But I am here, because you visited my blog and “Liked” a post about me, because of a Shout Out I got from Paulette of “The Persecution of Mildred Dunlap” fame. She is indeed a wonderful friend, and blogger. I hope that over time you find other reasons to visit my blog and like other posts. Please take care, Bill

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Some things in life are complicated. Let's keep it simple.

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